The Overlord of Puluo-Chapter 2: Banfeng Is Not Crazy

"Banfeng! Save me!"

The voice came out of nowhere. It was loud and urgent, ringing right in Li Banfeng’s ears. He had been sound asleep, but the sudden cry jolted him awake and made him sit straight up.

Who said that?

All the beds were empty. The only other person in the room was He Jiaqing, and he was crouching on the floor as he packed his luggage.

He Jiaqing looked up and asked, "You're awake?"

Li Banfeng stared at him. "Did you just ask me to save you?"

He Jiaqing frowned. "Did sleeping knock your brain loose? Help me pack, please. I am running out of time."

During their four years of university, He Jiaqing had been Li Banfeng's closest friend. And now, he was about to leave. His train was leaving tonight.

Li Banfeng tapped his phone screen and glanced at the time. It was already 3:30 PM. They could grab a meal together, and by the time they were done, it would be time to see him off at the train station.

Li Banfeng jumped down from his bed and helped He Jiaqing pack the last of his things.

"Do you need toothpaste?" he asked.

"Yes!"

With perfect precision, Li Banfeng tossed the toothpaste into He Jiaqing's suitcase.

"What about your meal card?"

"You can have it."

Hearing this, Li Banfeng flicked the meal card into his drawer, landing it cleanly.

As long as it was within five meters, Li Banfeng never missed a throw.

"Want your graduation certificate?"

"Nope."

With perfect aim, Li Banfeng tossed the graduation certificate straight into the trash can three meters away.

This was what He Jiaqing admired about Li Banfeng. He was always so carefree, doing things without overthinking.

Li Banfeng didn't even ask He Jiaqing why he didn't want the graduation certificate. He just tossed it without a second thought. To him, "yes" meant "yes," and "no" meant "no." Li Banfeng would never overcomplicate simple things.

It was because He Jiaqing admired this part of Li Banfeng's personality that Li Banfeng became his only friend throughout all four years of university.

As for Li Banfeng, he only had one friend as well. The reason was his history of mental illness and those who knew about it wouldn't approach him easily.

He opened a cardboard box and found it stuffed with envelopes, each one packed with a stack of photos.

He Jiaqing loved photography and preferred shooting on roll film. Every time he finished a shoot, he would rent a darkroom and develop the photos himself. After four years of university, he had filled an entire box with photos.

Li Banfeng asked, "Still want these photos?"

He Jiaqing paused, feeling a bit hesitant. He then said, "Just pick a few good ones for me. Toss the rest if they're no good."

Li Banfeng picked out a few envelopes and passed them over. "These should be the best."

Without so much as a glance, He Jiaqing packed them into his suitcase.

Li Banfeng picked out a few more envelopes. "These are all photos of your girlfriend. They're all ruined. Better just throw them out."

He Jiaqing froze. "All of them?"

Li Banfeng nodded. "She's not even wearing clothes in them. Definitely ruined."

Without another word, He Jiaqing snatched the photos and shoved them into his suitcase.

***

At the barbecue joint near the campus gates, He Jiaqing poured Li Banfeng a glass of liquor and said, "There's something I've wanted to ask you for all four years of college... but I could never bring myself to say it."

Li Banfeng shook his head and stated, "I'm not into guys."

Hearing this, He Jiaqing choked on his baijiu[1]. He coughed for a while before saying, "That's not what I was about to ask. I was going to ask you why your name is called Banfeng[2]? Is there some special meaning behind it?"

When he heard this question, Li Banfeng's brows relaxed, and the corner of his lips curved up into a smile that appeared a little stiff.

Typically, others would try to keep their distance from Li Banfeng at this very moment, as this expression was usually a sign of Li Banfeng becoming emotionally unstable.

However, He Jiaqing wasn't worried at all. Li Banfeng would also smile like this when he was in a good mood. And right now, he was clearly in a good mood. He jumped into the story with obvious interest.

"It all started with Granny Wu from our orphanage. She took care of the seven of us and was the most cultured person there. She's the one who gave us all our names.

"The seven of us were named Banshan, Banluan, Banling, Banyai, Bangang, Banyue, and Banfeng. You know how the peak is the highest point of a mountain? Because I was the most outstanding of the seven, she gave me the name Banfeng[3]."

He Jiaqing thought for a moment. "I remember Granny Wu. She visited you when you were in the hospital. I don't remember her calling you Li Banfeng, though. She called you Li Bai Sha."

Li Banfeng nodded. "Yeah, that's because she always sent me out to buy her cigarettes. Her favorite brand during that time was Bai Sha, so she started calling me Li Bai Sha.

"Before that, she called me Li Hongmei. Even earlier, I was Li Yingchun. There was a time when things were better, and she could afford a better brand of cigarettes. She would call me Li Furong."

He Jiaqing picked up a skewer of grilled lamb kidney and asked, "So why's your surname Li?"

Li Banfeng replied, "Because the old man who guarded the orphanage was surnamed Li."

He Jiaqing nodded. "Then he must have been a man of virtue and respect."

Li Banfeng shook his head. "He was Granny Wu's husband. He loved smoking a foreign brand of cigarettes, so he used to call me 'Camel Li.'"

As the sky turned a soft shade of evening blue, they walked out of the barbecue place.

Li Banfeng had a napkin in his hand. He wiped his mouth with the napkin, then flicked it cleanly into a trash can four or five meters away.

He Jiaqing exclaimed with admiration, "You have never missed a throw within five meters! We have been friends for four years. Why haven't I learned this skill of yours?"

Li Banfeng looked at the trash can and said, "It's all about mindset. That's all that matters. Just keep it steady..."

Li Banfeng's gaze shifted into the distance. A woman in her early thirties, wearing a gray suit skirt, was approaching them with a smile.

It was Ms. Song.

The two of them quickly greeted her.

Ms. Song was a math teacher at the School of Science. She had chin-length hair and a fair, round face. Behind her round glasses were a pair of intelligent, soulful eyes.

At the sight of the two, her lips lifted into a smile, soft dimples settling into her cheeks. Those dimples had sparked countless fantasies among the male students in the School of Science. Most of those fantasies ended with a tissue. She was as radiant as the morning sun, full of vitality, and exuding a warmth that made people feel safe.

While Li Banfeng was still staring at Ms. Song's back, He Jiaqing lowered his voice and said, "She's got a walnut-shaped birthmark on the left buttcheek."

Li Banfeng froze. "You have seen it?"

He Jiaqing let out a proud burp, heavy with booze. "Did you ever see me fail calculus, linear algebra, and probability? And have you not seen how Ms. Song looks at me in class? You think it's the same as everyone else?"

"I have never paid attention to how she looks at you," Li Banfeng replied, his eyes narrowing as his tone grew serious. "But I remember the birthmark being on her right buttcheek."

He Jiaqing was stunned. "No way it's on the right. You must be remembering it wrong... Wait, what? You have seen it?"

Li Banfeng shook his head again and again. "I'm a man of propriety."

Yet, He Jiaqing absolutely would not yield. He grumbled, "How can you be considered a man of propriety if you have seen Ms. Song's buttcheek?"

Li Banfeng answered with complete seriousness, "I gave it a proper look, so that makes me a man of propriety."

"How could it be on the right..." He Jiaqing muttered, visibly disappointed.

The truth was, he had never actually seen Ms. Song's buttcheek himself. He'd only heard about it from his girlfriend, Lu Xiaolan, who claimed she had caught a glimpse in the locker room.

He Jiaqing looked at Li Banfeng very seriously, feeling very disappointed.

"Did Lu Xiaolan lie to me... or did I just remember it wrong? I think she lied. She's always lying to me."

Li Banfeng and He Jiaqing continued chatting as they walked. To be precise, one was walking while the other was doing all the talking. The two eventually arrived at the girls' dormitory, where they picked up He Jiaqing's girlfriend, Lu Xiaolan.

Lu Xiaolan had her hair tied up in a ponytail, which highlighted her delicate features and brought out a youthful innocence.

She wore a tight-fitting dress that accentuated her petite yet curvy figure.

Lu Xiaolan was widely regarded as the most beautiful girl in the School of Science—a title acknowledged by at least eighty percent of the male students.

Even though the three of them were already acquainted, He Jiaqing couldn't help but show off to Li Banfeng. "Look at my girl... She's like one of those calendar poster beauties[4]?"

Calendar poster beauties? What kind of ancient reference is this?

For some reason, He Jiaqing always had a particular fondness for these old-timey things.

However, Li Banfeng felt nothing for Lu Xiaolan. He couldn't even be bothered to give her a second glance.

"If I must speak from the bottom of my heart, I still prefer Ms. Song's figure," Li Banfeng said seriously as he stared at He Jiaqing.

He Jiaqing replied, "If I must speak from the bottom of my heart, I would tell you that my girl has a heart. When it comes to the assessment of one's heart, one must not judge it solely by its size. It requires a comprehensive comparison..."

The three of them then took a cab together to the East Station.

At the train station, Li Banfeng walked with He Jiaqing to the turnstile. The moment of farewell had arrived.

"Bro, you drank a lot," He Jiaqing said. "Call me when you get back to the dorm."

Li Banfeng chuckled. "Why would I call you? Are you afraid that I'll get lost or something?"

He Jiaqing shook his head. "No, it's not that. I had a lot to drink too. I might doze off on the train. Call me and remind me that I should pee."

"You need a reminder to pee?" Li Banfeng asked, clearly confused.

"What if I wet my pants?" He Jiaqing replied in a dead serious tone.

"You have got your girlfriend with you. You think she would let that happen?"

He Jiaqing shook his head. "She sleeps harder than I do. She sleeps like a pig. Even if the train derailed, she wouldn't wake up!"

Hearing that, Lu Xiaolan shot He Jiaqing an annoyed look and gave him a punch.

Li Banfeng grumbled, "You are about to board, and you are talking about the train derailing? That's bad luck."

They chatted a bit longer until the station broadcast came on: "Train 1160 is now boarding. Please proceed to Platform No. 96 with all your belongings."

He Jiaqing looked at Li Banfeng. "I'm gonna go."

Li Banfeng let out a sniffle, as if about to cry.

He Jiaqing shook his head. "Drop the act. You are really bad at crying. You don't know how to cry."

During their four years of university, Li Banfeng had cried many times. He had used these tears to win the sympathy of the academic counselor and the trust of the academic affairs office. However, He Jiaqing knew they were all fake.

And He Jiaqing was right. Li Banfeng couldn't cry at all.

Even Li Banfeng felt that it wasn't right to fake cry at this moment. However, as He Jiaqing’s best friend, he felt this was a moment where he ought to say a few more words.

After a brief silence, Li Banfeng simply said, "Take care of yourself."

"You too," He Jiaqing replied. He picked up his suitcase and walked through the turnstile with Lu Xiaolan.

As they walked, Lu Xiaolan asked casually, "Why did you ask Li Banfeng to call you?"

He Jiaqing grinned. "What, are you jealous?"

Lu Xiaolan snorted. "Get lost. If you love him so much, why don't you just marry him?"

He Jiaqing pinched her nose and consoled, "Don't be mad. You know he's got mental health issues. He drank a lot tonight, and I just get worried if he goes back by himself."

Lu Xiaolan hooked her arm through his and whispered, "Honestly, Li Banfeng's not a bad guy. He just creeps me out a little with how unpredictable he is."

He Jiaqing explained with a serious expression, "Banfeng's not crazy. We went to see a psychiatrist at the psychiatry department of Third Hospital. Dr. Wang said he didn't meet the criteria for a mental illness, and they discharged him after just a week."

Lu Xiaolan chuckled in amusement and followed He Jiaqing toward Gate 96.

He Jiaqing repeated once more, "Banfeng really isn't crazy. You'd better remember that."

1. Baijiu (literally “white liquor”)is a Chinese liquor usually distilled from fermented sorghum. It is a colorless, clear liquid typically coming in between 35% and 60% alcohol by volume. ☜

2. His name is 伴峰 (Bànfēng), which means "companion of the peak" or "accompanying the mountain peak." However, it sounds identical to 半疯 (Bànfēng), which means half crazy. ☜

3. Banshan (伴山) means "Companion of the mountain," Banluan (伴峦) means "Companion of the mountain range," Banling (伴岭) means "Companion of the mountain ridge," Banyai (伴崖) means "Companion of the cliff," Bangang (伴岗) means "Companion of the hillock or mound," Banyue (伴岳) means "Companion of the great mountain," and Banfeng (伴峰) means "Companion of the peak or highest point of a mountain." ☜

4. Explained in thoughts. ☜