The Protagonist's Party is Too Diligent-Chapter 290

Whether I responded or not, Mia continued speaking.

“When I realized that this world had returned to the way it was, I felt a flood of emotions all at once. Ah, my father is gone from this world now.”

That single fact must have brought on a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. But I couldn’t even begin to imagine what they were.

Ironically, I had never lost my parents. In the world I originally lived in, I had died before they did. And in this world, the people I could call my parents were all still alive.

So I had no way of truly understanding that kind of grief.

On top of that, Mia had never experienced what a normal family was like.

It’s said that family relationships are always a mix of love and resentment. But rarely does the “resentment” part ever go beyond a certain threshold. With married couples, it might be unavoidable, but between a parent and child, unless things go terribly wrong, hatred doesn’t usually overpower love.

But Mia...

What had she felt toward her father while he was still alive?

Perhaps, in a way, things might have been easier for her if she had been able to regret my killing of the Count. If that had been the case, I would have had to bear that regret, and Mia would never have forgiven me. But at the very least, her wounds might have been smaller than they were now.

Yet the Count I had met had been exactly as I had expected.

A man who had shamelessly declared that he would “claim” a baron’s daughter as if he were licking his lips at the sight of her. By this world’s standards, she might have been considered an adult, but honestly, no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t accept it. To me, teenagers were still just kids.

“I was sad. But at the same time, how should I put it... I also felt relieved.”

“...Is that so?”

“Yes. Like waking up from a nightmare. Strange, isn’t it? Just a while ago, my father was perfectly fine, and now he’s gone.”

Even though the world had changed, most people’s lives would have continued as before. Some who had participated in the final battle of the illusory world might have died, but now, they would remember it only as a nightmare. Unless they fully realized that what happened in that world had been real, those memories would be buried beneath their subconscious, blending into their memories of reality.

So there shouldn’t have been any cases where someone who was supposed to be dead was alive again. The goddess wouldn’t have had the capacity to recreate everything that meticulously.

But Mia was different.

Because the most important “murderer” had lived a completely different life.

For a long time, she must have watched as her father deteriorated, continuously betraying and disappointing the people around him.

I wasn’t sure whether the “Count” she had seen had truly been resurrected, or if it had just been an incredibly elaborate illusion. That was something only the goddess would know.

But to Mia, it must have been a living nightmare.

“I was sad. Yes, of course, I was sad. But... when all the memories returned at once, I also remembered just how much I had lost in order to hold onto my father in that illusion.”

“...”

I pursed my lips, my gaze darting around. It was difficult to maintain a neutral expression. Every word Mia spoke felt like it was digging into me.

“But still, I... your father...”

When I couldn’t bring myself to finish my sentence, Mia looked at me and said softly,

“This time, you’re saying the same thing with a completely different expression.”

“...”

“It must be because you can’t turn back time anymore.”

“...Yes, that’s right.”

I had always turned back time whenever I wanted.

Just to keep up the “concept.” To maintain the illusion of a mysterious being who was always calm and composed, making calculated decisions with minimal effort for maximum results.

“That thing you said back then.”

Mia idly fidgeted with her teacup.

“You told me you were learning how to feel emotions.”

My mind went completely blank.

The guilt I had felt just moments ago—the guilt of being the one who killed her father, the guilt of forcing Mia to endure such a horrific past twice, the guilt of still not having apologized to her—had been building up inside me. And then, in an instant, it all flew away into the sky, completely wiped out by the sheer shock of her words.

That’s right. I had gone to Mia’s room and said that.

That I was still learning emotions, that I practiced them in private where no one could see.

Of course, it was a blatant lie. I had just said whatever came to mind to get through that moment.

“That was... a lie.”

Before my sanity could escape into the stratosphere, I barely managed to grab hold of myself and speak.

My voice cracked and felt dry. To be honest, I got chills just from saying it. My whole body felt cold to the bone, yet I was sweating at the same time. It was an odd sensation.

Not that I had the luxury to analyze it right now.

“Was it?”

This time, Mia was the one asking.

“Yes, it was. To be honest, at that time, I...”

There was no reason to hide it anymore. But saying it out loud was painful.

Mainly in the “this is so embarrassing I want to die” kind of way.

“I thought you might attack me.”

“I figured as much,” Mia said, nodding calmly.

“But even so, you handed me a gun. You told me to shoot you if I wanted to. If I had truly wanted to kill you, that would have been my best chance.”

Logically speaking, she had a good chance even now. But Mia wasn’t going to kill me. Because now, Mia and I were friends.

...Or was thinking like that too calculated?

“And honestly, I never expected you to follow me.”

Mia Crowfield had been a mage character, not the kind of thief or rogue class you’d see in a typical JRPG. Her gear might have allowed her to avoid being targeted first, but that was only because it reduced aggro, not because she was completely hidden.

That had been my mistake. Because I had played the original game, I had never even considered such a possibility. That’s why I had ended up making such a ridiculous excuse.

At the time, I thought I had managed to get through the situation.

But I had forgotten that Mia was incredibly sharp.

...And now, thanks to her sharp mind, she remembered every single thing I had said back then.

“So in a rush to make an excuse, that’s what I came up with.”

After I barely managed to finish my explanation, Mia simply stared at me in silence.

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Then, she chuckled.

“So, in the end, the supposedly perfect Sylvia Fangryphon has actually been making tons of mistakes from the very beginning. To the point where she had to resort to excuses that no ordinary person would ever think of.”

“...”

I had no words.

“You know, when I once thought that you liked Leo.”

“...”

God, why did every buried embarrassment of mine keep resurfacing? What the hell had I been thinking back then?

If I had known that my ability would disappear one day—and that as a result, everyone would remember all the times I rewound time—I would have never used it so recklessly. Or at the very least, I would have used it far more sparingly.

“That time, I told you that I finally understood what it meant to learn emotions.”

I clamped my mouth shut.

I steeled myself. No matter what she said next, I wouldn’t let it shake me. ...This was all my own fault anyway. I had to take responsibility for it.

“I don’t think that was wrong.”

But Mia’s words were different from what I had expected.

“I mean, I can’t explain it perfectly, but...”

Mia averted her gaze, glancing up at me. Her black eyes, partially hidden by her bangs, were no longer hollow and empty like when I first met her. Instead, they gleamed like finely cut gems.

Blushing slightly, she murmured,

“Emotions are something ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ everyone gradually comes to understand. It’s the same for those who lack them and those who are overflowing with them. That’s why I think the Sylvia who said those words back then and the Sylvia sitting in front of me now... are completely different people.”

Her words were both understandable and incomprehensible.

But at the very least, I could tell there was no malice in them.

“So, I don’t think it would be strange to say that even now, you’re slowly regaining your emotions.”

At those final words, I finally collapsed, slumping onto the table.

...Seriously, what was I supposed to do with my whole “mysterious” persona now?