The Top Idol Next Door Can't Help But Crave My Guilty Pleasure Meals-Chapter 11Volume 1 .3 - The Place Where Sasaki Yuzuki Belongs Is Here

ROUND 11 – The Place Where Sasaki Yuzuki Belongs Is Here 3

The Special Sutadon Pork Bowl.

The first dish I ever served to Yuzuki.

“It’s about to be finished, so could you wipe down the table now?”

“Stop it already!”

Yuzuki’s voice echoed throughout the room.

“Please, I beg you… just stop…”

It was the first time I heard such a pained voice from Yuzuki.

“Everything would have gone back to how it was if Suzufumi had just been disappointed in me….. Why do you keep taking care of me? How do you know I’m suffering? Why are you so kind…”

Eventually, I could hear the sound of droplets hitting the floor.

“… I’ve always thought Yuzuki is amazing,”

Devoid of any embellishment, I offered these words from the bottom of my heart.

“Ever since we met as neighbors, I’ve been closely watching the real Yuzuki up close. But you see, even Idols get hungry, they wolf down their food, and they smell like garlic if they eat garlic. It’s so obvious, yet we often forget that idols are the same as us.”

Yes, that’s all there is to it.

No matter how much she pursued ‘Arisu Yuzuki’, ‘Sasaki Yuzuki’ couldn’t be completely separated.

Yuzuki finally spoke, breaking her heavy silence.

“…But idols are vessels meant to take on everyone’s wishes, hopes, and dreams. They’re supposed to embody everyone’s ideals by filling themselves with them. Sasaki Yuzuki is just an obstruction. For everyone’s sake, I need to abandon myself quickly…”

“Then let me ask, does ‘everyone’ include Yuzuki herself?”

“…what?”

Yuzuki’s eyes staring back at me were empty.

It might not be wrong to think that way.

The weight of Yuzuki’s words, who has been watching dozens, if not hundreds of idols since childhood, is different from mine, who has only recently been exposed to the idol world.

“This is just my opinion—but I don’t think it’s best for idols to completely throw away their desires and live solely for their fans. That’s just too lonely.”

I’m aware that I might sound disrespectful.

Depending on how she takes it, it might even be seen as a denial of everything Yuzuki has done so far.

But is it really okay to throw everything just to fulfill everyone’s ideals?

Is that all Yuzuki ever wanted to do?

Where exactly are Yuzuki’s own ideals?

“Isn’t it better to accept your own desires, swallow them, turn them into your flesh and blood, and yet still remain the ideal idol in front of the fans?”

There might be those who scorn it as a ‘lie’ or an ‘illusion.’ But I don’t see anything wrong with either of those words.

A lie is a prayer of ‘how I want to be’, ‘how I want to be seen’.

An illusion is the manifestation of that prayer.

Idols are lies, they are illusions, and yet they are beautiful because they represent our ‘ideals’.

“It’s okay to crave food. Whether you’re wolfing down a pork bowl, adding extra cheese to a Milanese-style Doria, having seconds of a filling galette, lying down satisfied after a homemade Jiro, or snacking on a coveted FavoChick after school. You know─the greater the desires of Sasaki Yuzuki, the more impressive it is when Arisu Yuzuki tames them and stands on stage.”

It’s not even just about food.

Surely, even idols sometimes want to go out and have fun or make friends at school.

They might yearn for dates just like anyone else and perhaps even fall in love.

These are normal desires that everyone has.

They’re not something to feel guilty about. There’s no need to cut them off.

“So listen not only to the fans’ voices but also to Yuzuki’s own voice.”

Above all, to continue to be the symbol of aspiration in front of the fans, and through that, stay true to yourself──

That’s definitely cool.

“I like Yuzuki shining on stage. I like Yuzuki even more when she’s diligently working hard every day towards that goal. At the very least, the ‘Sasaki Yuzuki’ that you want to throw away is important to me.”

“I… I am…”

Yuzuki’s voice was trembling.

She was desperately holding back something that seemed ready to overflow at any moment.

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“…I wanted to be the ideal idol I’ve wanted to be, but I didn’t have enough time or skills, so the only way to get closer to that ideal was to deny myself the things I wanted… The only thing I could do was to cut everything down to the limit….”

Enduring, enduring, just persistently enduring.

Then what? It was bound to break someday.

“I’m not saying to indulge yourself but love yourself a little more. Yuzuki, you’re not an emotionless robot. You’re not an illusion that can only live beyond the screen. You’re a normal human being, a high school girl that can be found anywhere; you’re just my next-door neighbor.”

I turned back to the stove and started finishing up another dish.

Scooped from the sea of oil, I cut it into bite-sized pieces with a knife.

Steam was rising from the cross-section of the chicken.

I placed it on the left half of the bowl, added a few drops of my special sour salt sauce, sprinkled with white sesame seeds and chopped perilla leaves, and finally, it was complete.

“Yuzuki, you said you wanted to try this.”

That was an exchange on the way home the other day day.

──I saw on a recipe site that there’s this variation called ‘FavoChick Donburi’ or something like that.

──Wow, I’d love to try that, but the calories must be insane~

I want her to be happy.

I want her to smile.

I want her to eat even a bowl full of meat and grease.

“So, you know, don’t cry.”

The mask named ‘bluff’ fell apart into tears.

I wipe the low table and place the special bowl.

Reaching out to Yuzuki who was sobbing in front of the door, I felt her hand gently gripping back mine.

I pull on her hand and lead Yuzuki to the special seat.