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These Dangerous Girls Placed Me Into Jeopardy-Chapter 31Vol 1. : I Went on a Date With My Girlfriend
“Oh my, you’re pretty fast. I thought you wouldn’t show up until nine, or maybe just ghost me entirely.”
“I’m not the type to waste time on transportation.”
If you ask me, the most time-wasting thing in a person’s life is commuting. You burn through your limited lifespan just moving from place to place, and for what? No real value. If only people could teleport—or had access to some kind of spatial portal—we could save so much time for better things.
“Hehehe~ So Cheng-kun’s the kind of guy who doesn’t enjoy traveling.”
“Yup. I’m a total homebody.”
Rolling my eyes, I sat down across from Lillian Ji.
A stir went through the café.
If you listened closely, you could hear the whispers:
“Whoa, the girl waiting by the window—her guy finally showed up!”
“That’s her boyfriend? What a waste of a beauty! Total flower-in-a-dung-pile situation!”
“Making a girl wait like that—what a terrible gentleman.”
“And that sour face of his... how did he land her? That’s rarer than winning the lottery.”
Just like in the cafeteria. No matter where she goes, Lillian Ji becomes the center of attention.
Public opinion instantly tilted in her favor—as expected. Beautiful girls are always more popular than scummy guys like me.
A waitress came over calmly and addressed me in a composed tone.
“Welcome. May I take your order?”
“A hot milk.”
“...All right.”
She shot me a mildly baffled look before turning to Lillian Ji to ask if she wanted a refill. Lillian switched to a different coffee and ordered a slice of cheesecake.
Meanwhile, I sat there like a stone Buddha, practically fuming.
“You seem to be in a bad mood. Did someone toy with your feelings?”
That would be you!
“No kidding! You tricked me!”
Lillian casually brushed off my anger like it had nothing to do with her.
“Oh my~ Not a single word in my messages was a lie. You’re the one who jumped to conclusions, Cheng-kun.”
“...Tch.”
She’s not wrong. I did get excited all on my own when I saw “maid café” and didn’t bother to think things through.
This one’s on me.
“So? What did you want to talk about?”
“Geez, Cheng-kun. You still haven’t properly called me by name. Say it—say ‘Lillian Ji.’”
Lillian puffed up her cheeks in mock annoyance, suddenly nitpicking about how I address her.
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Says you—you’ve been calling me by the wrong name the whole time.”
“That’s my way of showing affection!”
“Then this is my way of keeping things impersonal.”
I almost never call Lillian Ji by name. Usually I just go with “you,” “hey,” or “this girl.” Basically, I’m recycling the way Serena used to talk to me—and now I’m using it on Lillian.
Now you get to feel my emotional distance (Serena-style™)!
“You’ve already called Ms. Yang by name. But you can’t even say your girlfriend’s name? Or is it that something’s going on between you and Ms. Yang...”
Once again, I was impressed (and horrified) by Lillian Ji’s vast information network. Sherry, what are you!? Why is your intel this comprehensive!? This is some straight-up secret-agent-level surveillance!
I just hope she doesn’t know too much. There’s no way she knows Lily is actually a succubus, right?
...No, that should be impossible. Lily’s illusion magic isn’t something normal people can see through.
Which means I better not give away any more intel.
“That’s just because I’m close with my teachers. I call Ms. Jane by name too.”
“Then you definitely should be calling me by name. I’m your girlfriend, after all!”
She didn’t look like she’d let the conversation move forward until I gave in...
I sighed, drew in a deep breath, and prepared to say “Lillian”—but Lillian cut me off.
“Come on~ Say this: ‘I love Lillian Ji so much I could die.’”
“Why the hell did the difficulty spike!? And why did you just shove your own fantasy into it!?”
“And from now on, end every sentence with: ‘My Lillian is the cutest~’”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! My Lillian is the cutest~ Wait, what!?”
“Hehehehehe~”
So this whole thing was just to mess with me again!?
Just then, the waitress brought our order.
“Please enjoy.”
She’d been watching me the whole time, like I was some rare animal in a zoo... Seriously, what’s your problem?
“Geez...”
I took a disgruntled sip of milk—only for Lillian to suddenly lean forward, cupping her hand by her mouth like she was telling me a juicy secret.
“Cheng-kun, I’m not wearing anything today.”
“PFFFT—!”
I spewed milk right in her face. It hit her squarely—splashing across her cheeks and hair, with a bit trailing down her chin to her neck.
“...”
Shit!
What the hell did she just say!?
No—wait! I’m screwed!! I’m totally screwed!!
Just remembering her murderous glare during lunch the other day... This time she’s definitely going to kill me!
It’s not my fault! You’re the one who said something like that! I was the victim here!
I braced for death—but it didn’t come. Lillian didn’t get mad. Her title didn’t flash red—her cheeks did.
She cupped her face, eyes closed shyly.
“Oh dear~ Cheng-kun covered me in milk~”
Gasps erupted around the café.
“Ugh...!”
This girl...!
The way she said that—anyone looking at her now would totally think we just... yeah...
She scooped some milk off her face with her finger, popped it in her mouth, then slowly licked every drop from her fingers—between the nails and all...
Okay. I’ll admit. That was kind of hot.
Honestly, she looks more like a succubus than the real one, Lily.
“Cheng-kun’s thinking of pinning me down on a bed and ravishing me, aren’t you~ So H~ Hehehe~”
“What am I, a monkey!? I’ve evolved into a higher life form, thank you very much.”
Lillian looked skeptical.
“Really~?” she muttered, then suddenly stood up.
I thought she was leaving—or at least going to wipe her head—but no. She only took three steps and—
“La la la~”
—plopped right into my lap!
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“Whoa!!”
I freaked out, sliding backward and spreading my legs to catch her.
The café exploded in gasps.
Even the waitress with a napkin in hand looked stunned! Don’t do this kind of stuff in public! Everyone’s staring!
“Don’t sit on me! This is a one-person chair! Sit on your own side!”
Lillian ignored my protests. She grabbed both my arms and squashed them to her chest, then rocked them like she was rowing a boat.
“Row, row, row your boat~ Gently down the stream~”
“Stop! Stop! My brain is rattling!”
Lillian giggled as she rubbed her milky hair all over me.
“You misunderstood me, so your punishment is reciting the Heart Sutra.”
“The only part I know is ‘form is emptiness; emptiness is form.’ You’ll kill me before I memorize the rest.”
“Technically, the ‘form’ there doesn’t refer to women. So it’s not about abstinence.”
“Why the random trivia!? And if it doesn’t mean that, why make me chant it!?”
Only an idiot could memorize that whole thing!
After nuzzling up and wiping all the milk off on me, she finally returned to her seat.
So I was just... her towel!?
I even dressed nicely today, damn it...
“Ugh, sticky hair is the worst.”
Whew... She’s finally off me.
Those few minutes felt like Death itself breathing down my neck...
I must’ve been traumatized. Every time Lillian gets too close—especially when she touches me—my whole body tenses up and my heart rate spikes.
And no, that’s not attraction—it’s fear.
Lillian sipped her coffee and took a bite of cheesecake. Then, as if remembering something:
“Oh right, yesterday when I tried to feed you, that poker-faced girl interrupted. Let’s do it properly now.”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. You think I’m dumb enough to fall for the same trick again?
“What? Afraid I poisoned it? Okay then...”
She placed the cake in her mouth first, swished it around, then very deliberately licked the fork clean with her tongue. After completely coating it in saliva, she speared another bite and held it out.
“Aaaa~”
I curled my lips in disdain, refusing.
“Still no good, huh...”
Lillian drooped her head, visibly disappointed... and her sorrowful look actually made other customers’ titles turn gray and black.
They were glaring at me in envy and frustration.
Heh. Pathetic fools. You don’t know the real Lillian Ji. She can switch from crying to laughing in a second. She controls her emotions and toys with others. She’s a full-on demon in human form.
“In that case...”
“Hmm?”
She lifted her head, closed her left eye, and gently ran her left index finger across her open right one.
Her title flickered—and changed!
[Girlfriend-Type Who’s Madly In Love] appeared again!
Lillian Ji—you can freely switch personalities now!?
“Cheng-kun...”
That timid tone—no doubt about it. This is Soft Bing. (The soft-hearted version of Lillian.)
“Can I... feed you?”
She picked up the fork again, blushed when she saw her own saliva, quickly ate [N O V E L I G H T] that piece herself, then carefully offered me a fresh one.
I ate it without hesitation.
She smiled—softly, genuinely.
“....”
I went blank.
When I’m with Lillian normally, I can talk back. But with Soft Bing... my brain slows down. It’s like static in my head. Straight up: I go full idiot mode.
No idea how I even spent the next few hours. It was like watching life through a haze.
I guess... we had a normal date.
Soft Bing held my hand with a blissful smile, helped me pick out a new pair of glasses.
We had lunch. Watched a movie. Took sticker booth photos together.
Like a normal couple.
In the end, I never got to ask her anything important. Soft Bing wasn’t someone I could interrogate.
Seriously, what the hell is going on...
“I had so much fun today, Cheng-kun.”
“Yeah... me too.”
We finished our date at a park near the café. Her luxury car—and Sherry—were already waiting at the exit.
They probably followed us the whole time. I could feel people watching us—just couldn’t pinpoint them.
Ever since I gained the ability to see titles, my sense for danger’s been sharper.
“So, Cheng-kun... for the last part of our date... I want...”
She tilted her head up, closed her eyes, and puckered her lips. Her blushing cheeks glowed under the sunset.
She clearly wanted a kiss.
Kiss her? Or not?
She’s my girlfriend—but it’s a fake relationship. Her true goal is to kill me and claim my corpse...
“Cheng-kun...?”
That small, uncertain voice hit my ears. She was losing faith the longer I hesitated.
Tch. Come on, An Juncheng! You don’t have decision paralysis—just freaking do it!
I steeled myself to kiss her—but then...
I felt it.
Killing intent.
And not from Soft Bing.
I turned in alarm. No one was nearby. Sherry’s title was green—definitely not her.
“Something wrong, Cheng-kun?”
“Nah... just felt a chill down my spine. Probably nothing.”
“Then...”
I scratched my cheek. That sudden jolt killed the mood, so I settled for a kiss on her forehead.
Soft Bing still looked delighted. She touched her forehead, giggling bashfully.
“You’re satisfied, but I’m not yet~ Cheng-kun~”
“Wait, wha—!?”
She pulled me in by the collar, and our teeth clashed with a loud crack.
Ow! My lip got cut!
I shoved her away and clutched my mouth.
“Mmph!”
“Hehehehehe~”
She was back—[Necrophiliac Killer] Lillian Ji—staring at me with that signature four-stage evil laugh.
“I want you more and more, Cheng-kun~”
She wiped my blood onto her lips, her eyes gleaming like a predator locked on its prey.
“For spending the whole day with me, here’s your reward. Watch closely, okay? Don’t blink~”
She slowly lifted her skirt with both hands...
The evening breeze brushed against my cheek. The sunset lit her skin with radiant hues. In the distance, Sherry gasped and covered her mouth. The maid driver pulled down her mask in sheer shock.
And me?
My brain crashed.
All that remained was a single still image burned into my memory.
Lillian Ji wasn’t wearing anything.