You Think I Won't Talk?-Chapter 47

Feeling shy about what I had written, I merely gave him the block of notes as I slightly extended my arms towards him.

Showing the note laying on my hands, my eyes stayed looking downwards out of nervousness. I felt embarrassed enough to not meet his eyes, and so, I kept that position for a few seconds.

A muffled sigh managed to reach my ears in the meantime.

Surprised by it, I couldn’t lift my gaze, and then, Marianne’s body shrank, troubled.

The previous heat in my cheeks began to dissipate incredibly fast. That lovely sensation I felt when she agreed to our promise, one full of childlike innocence and anticipation, was vanishing and leaving no trace of it behind, and now, a scary emotion was taking its place.

’... W–Why would you stiffen like this...? It’s the Duke... why’d you worry to this extent?’

I couldn’t understand what was happening for her to change so drastically.

Her reaction was as surprising as worrisome. Right now, I had no authority over our body, it was at the mercy of some kind of survival instinct, fired by unfounded fear.

But, I couldn’t let the concern make me lose focus on what was important. This change can’t mean anything good for us, so I need to regain the little power I suddenly lost.

The battle over the control of our body only lasted a few seconds, however, I was completely defeated. My attempts were completely fruitless against the emotions steering Marianne.

We didn’t move at all.

I stayed frozen with no other choice, thanks to the body stubbornly refusing my will. Although I gave my best to take over, my soul never reached her. I don’t even know if I was doing it right...

’... A battle between souls... Just how am I supposed to fight it?’

I sighed inwardly, realising that there isn’t much I can do. And then... Then, the silence broke.

"... The happy one... is me. To have such a lovely and sincere daughter... my lovely and pretty bird, how can I be so lucky to have such a precious child?"

When I was about to give up, the Duke’s voice resounded through the office, freeing me from the chains the body had put on me.

Whatever was drowning her, ceased to exist at his words.

The way his voice sounded as it reached my ears... overwhelmed our heart. Full of emotion, not only his words but also his voice was filled with love for us... for Marianne... his volume wasn’t loud and yet... It resounded strongly inside us... Shaking our core with his sweet tone.

Feeling how his hands took mine in a sweet caress, lowering their lifted position, a hint of jealousy was sparked within my heart.

What I had read before about a Father’s love for their children... was nowhere near to how much this man seemed to love Marianne.

If in my past life... I had a father who had as much as a speck of the love the Duke had for Marianne...

’...How much easier would have been to... regain my will to live after that...?’

The past... the difficult past that even if I overcame it, I would never be able to forget... would have been easily buried by the good emotions a father’s protection could give.

"..."

’It’s better to stop my train of thought. The only thing I can gain from it would be to get depressed from thinking too much of useless things.’

Bringing my gaze up, I met the affectionate eyes of the Duke.

The obscure grey colour of his eyes... had a hint of a silver glow. Looking at them, I knew that what he wanted to say was more difficult for him to explain with words than with his gaze.

What he wanted to convey... I was not able to define it completely. However, I got the important bit.

’... That’s... an "I love you" kind of gaze...’

Deep inside I shamelessly wanted to ask Marianne something I know I should never ask.

{ May I... consider him my Father now too? }

Taking into account that I am possessing Marianne’s body... in practice, he is my Father.

But I know well that... that is not the truth. I am not his relative. I am not even originally from this world.

Whenever I say "that’s my father in this life"... I refer to the life I’m living as Marianne.

Acting in place of Marianne is fine. But, telling people, especially the Duke about her almost nonexistent presence and that I am not the real Marianne... would be cruel... and dangerous.

I know my place and who I am. Even if now that I’ve seen how having a Father is... the affection he shows, is not directed to me.

Aware of this fact, even if Marianne were to permit me to see him as a real Father... I am sure I would regret it.

The reason is simple. Acting as Marianne who is his real daughter with a clear limit is the best option.

Was I to see him as a real Father, my affection towards him would only increase and, at some point, it would become my torture stake.

I will never be the one to whom he gives that love. So, letting myself grow closer to him would make me desire to be the recipient of his affection, which would only be possible... if he knew about me.

That is why I refuse to let him know of my existence. ’... If he knew...’

"...Marianne...?"

Marianne’s father had a worried expression as he snapped me out of my daze.

’Ah... I kept looking at him while lost in thought... Heh, I got stuck too.’

I looked downwards and when I noticed he had released my hands at some point, the Butler came in with the awaited pastry.

Turning my head in his direction, I forgot all about my unnecessary concerns and felt delighted once again as I caught sight of the sliced pastries.

’Finally! I can have some of those tasty sweets!!’

Watching how the Butler arranged the plates, I failed to notice Marianne’s Father changing seats.

When he had already placed himself on the couch in front of me, the Butler was already rearranging the position of the tea set.

I wondered why he had done that as I blinked in confusion.

But, as always, he didn’t fail to notice my gaze on him and explained his actions.

"... I... I will sit here so you can be more comfortable..."

"..."

I stared at him for a moment, a little perplexed at his reason.

’But... I wasn’t uncomfortable~~’

Pouting inside, still, in a light mood, I accepted his thoughtful actions without much thinking. This part of his character has appeared multiple times, so I didn’t pay much attention to it.

My sight came back to the teacups, that now were being filled with a tea that gave a unique aroma.

Once everything was served, Marianne’s Father drew a teacup closer to me.

"...Go on..."

I glanced at him who had his teacup lifted but only stared at it with no expression.

’What’s with him...? ... So serious...’

Deciding to ignore his change, I began sipping on my tea which had a hint of citric flavours. It was very delicious and left a refreshing bitterness on my tongue, so, when I took a bite of one of the Bombi... Bombo... well, the pastry that had raspberry filling on it, the sweetness felt stronger but not to the point of intoxication. The combination gave balance to the flavour.

My tastebuds were dancing in pure bliss thanks to the delightful taste, so I kept eating in silence, thrilled by how its dough was just on point in dryness.

When only half of it was left, I remembered that the Duke must have eaten some of it too by now. So I looked at him, expectant to see if he was enjoying it as much as I was.

’......ah...’

He was still with his cup in his hand. His desserts were intact... and for some reason... his expression reminded me of... ours.

The sight was shocking. My mind froze to it in an instant. And just as fast, panic began to build in my heart.

’He...... Something’s wrong.’

I felt how Marianne’s body was pulling me this time. Pulling me to leave the room. To leave the Duke. And run away.

My head was in total confusion, but, thankfully, I stayed stuck in place.

The body was pulling with huge force, but it wouldn’t move an inch for a reason I completely ignore.

In a flash, I felt how my heartbeat fastened and my sight became blurry.

For a moment, I thought it was my sight that was failing... but instead... it was a memory of Marianne’s sights.

Blurred by tears, in a dark place, the voice of a child, resounded through her low hiccups.

"He doesn’t love you... why... you... a nuisance to him... Stay away.....Mari....ne"

Like echoes in my head, words like these kept ringing.

"Pest.....Stop...Don’t you understand..... Do as I say..."

"He’s sick of you."

Somehow... I... understood the gist of what those memories were about.

’Hah... I’m not sure I want to know more details about this... but.... Stay put Marianne. We are not leaving.’

Our body began to tremble, but my will had gained control of it. My words, like a spell, erased some of the restraint the body had put on me again.

Taking the post-it notes in my trembling hands, I wrote a message to the Duke.

[Father,

Are you alright?

Are you]

My hand shook heavily and struggled immensely to write the last few words, as though writing them, would certainly make the answer a "yes".

However, my will won, and even if it was badly written... the words were still readable.

[Father,

Are you alright?

Are you mad at me?]

Reading the last line of the message, my body went cold. Now, I wasn’t only trembling by the body’s panic, but also from the low temperature within it.

Like ice, my hands had a slight shade of blue.

’Oh God...’

It wasn’t possible for me to hold back the body’s quivering. It was too much. Even if had full control of it... I would still be unable to stop such strong tremors.

I had to show the message to the Duke, but...

’D*mn it! If I’m trembling like this I will end up dropping the d*mn thing!!!’

I complained, frustrated at how vulnerable my state was. Regardless of my inward outburst, the trembling wouldn’t stop.

Without any other option, I extended my uncooperative arms to show him the note.

Just as predicted, the post-it notes fell on the table, making a loud noise.

Marianne’s father flinched at the noise and finally looked my way.

My head wouldn’t lift to look at him, but I could tell he had turned to me. With my gaze fixed on the fallen notes, and my arms still reaching out in shivers, I lost the brief control I had and stayed frozen in that position.

’Ugh! Fu–!!’

"Marianne!!"

The loud shout of the Duke cut my inward cursing, as he stood hastily, rushing to my side in an instant.