You Think I Won't Talk?-Chapter 55

Her accurate movements told him that she desired to stay to share a cup of tea with her father.

Orland knew that even though he wanted to do what she had just suggested... his daughter was not aware as to why he did not say it himself.

He wanted her to know it. He wanted to tell her that he also hoped for them to be together a while longer, that he only worried about her... and... that his continuous worry was the cause of his self-restriction from asking for her company.

That is why, after telling her the reason behind it, his voice got weaker as he expressed his happiness about her staying with him.

"... I’m happy... you want to stay longer..."

He felt silly about how the last few words almost got stuck in his throat. However, he also felt nostalgic, delighted and even foolish about his hesitation.

’I should have been the one to invite her to stay...’

The chain of the last words she told him when she was little, and the lack of interaction between them in the last decade had put a boundary on his ways of approaching Marianne. Although he could see that she wouldn’t reject him harshly as she did back then... Orland felt afraid of messing it all up... and terribly pathetic of his cowardice.

Because... Her sudden willingness to approach him seemed like a miracle. And Miracles... Can hardly happen once.

’My child has already let me back into her life... yet... here I am... scared of every action I take to get closer...... Marianne... your father is such a pathetic man.....’

Orland belittled himself in shame and didn’t get to notice how Marianne averted her gaze.

The one inside her body felt guilty about the lack of interest, in whatever he was troubled with as she sensed his inner turmoil. Hence, in shame, her eyes drifted somewhere else after staring intently at him.

Although it was about different matters, both felt some kind of embarrassment, causing their eyes not to meet until Thomas interrupted the silence reigning in the room.

Such stillness was dangerous because both were the type whose thoughts would start to go around aimlessly in such an ambience.

Thankfully, Thomas stopped such an outcome with his timely arrival and made the father and daughter finally react.

Just as his daughter did, Orland was about to turn his head to see the Butler coming into the room to serve the tea. However, he halted as the graze of a cold hand was felt on his, accompanied by a little tug on the sleeve’s frills, preventing him from looking away.

His eyes moved slowly towards the place his hand was laying. The slim hand that held his clothes fabric as tightly as it could, took him off guard. Staring at it blankly, Orland was only able to react when she let his sleeve go, drawing back her hand with quiet grace.

’Ah... why...’

Dejected at her quick retreat he watched her as she stared at the table where the cups were being filled. He was slow to notice, but regardless of his daze, he still figured out what she was trying to say before. The Duke felt heartbroken about how, now, she just had given up on transmitting what she wanted to say and only stared at the table, blankly, in resignation.

’She was so excited when we bought them... how could I forget...’

Before Thomas left, the Duke called him, interrupting his walkout.

Ordering to bring some of the confectionaries they had bought, Orland turned back to look at Marianne as the butler left the room with new orders.

"Sweetie, You must have eaten lunch not too long ago. However, you should grab a bite of the sweets while they are fresh. They will be tastier then."

He took a short pause to watch her shining eyes and, once again, guilt began to get a hold of his heart.

The following words that were to be said would most likely lower her excitement. Nevertheless, it was necessary to say it, given how the past days had gone.

"Nonetheless... Do not eat much. You weren’t feeling well the other day, so we should be careful not to upset your stomach with too much food, alright Dear?"

With a loving caress, Orland tried to explain his worry. The resigned nod she gave made him sad. If not because of how well he knew, that once she got sick, shortly after she would fall sick again... The Duke would have given her all of the pastries in the world.

’... My poor bird... She always has to renounce things..... Kind-hearted child... do not hide what you desire... so that your soul will not wither in dreariness any further... Your father will do anything in his hands to fill your existence with joy.’

As he watched her in silence, these thoughts overwhelmed his chest, threatening to come out of his mouth in spoken words.

However...

’...It is not time yet...’

Orland was firm on not letting these kinds of impulses take form. For some time now, he has been able to distinguish something in her eyes. Something screaming to his craved with experience instincts, that there was a lot to heal for her to accept all that pampering.

’... She is still shackled... to what crushes her soul.’

The only thing he was sure about now, was that, for her to find freedom, she must talk. Therefore, the small stack of papers he had saved in his vest’s pocket came to mind.

"...! That’s right..."

Without hesitation, he reached for it, letting his recollection of the object be known by his child. In this matter, he had no other option than to be straightforward about it. Therefore, he did not try to conceal the intention of his gift and spoke sincerely of its goal.

"Marianne, now that you have begun to write notes to communicate... I asked for this one to be made for you, inspired by your original design. There must be times you want to say something but...... you are unable to..."

As more words left his mouth, his heart tightened. It pained him to tell her so bluntly that she has a condition that deprives her of communication. His face had begun to distort in grief as he said "you are unable to", but, regardless of the inward agony, Orland managed to control his expression. He must be strong... so that his daughter can lean on him.

"Keep this with you so you can communicate better... this way you won’t have to ask for paper and quill every time."

Taking her hand, he placed the stack on her palm and covered it with his hands delicately nonce he spoke. Securing her hold on it, he gently pats her folded fingers.

Marianne thanked him twice, using the notes he had just given her. Nonetheless, the one who wanted to thank her with his whole being... was Orland.

The words written in that lovely handwriting... teared up his heart with enormous bliss.

[Your gift and spending time with you make me happy.]

He felt like crying as soon as he saw the words. Along with her shy attitude, it only made his heart squeeze at how adorable his daughter has remained. Fighting his desire to shed tears at the rare show of affection, Orland tried to breathe out the compressed emotions in his chest as he shut down his eyes hard.

Opening them slowly, his gaze fell on the motionless girl, and finally, with a brittle and soft-spoken voice, the Duke replied, taking out the words coming from the deepest part of his soul.

"... The happy one... is me. To have such a lovely and sincere daughter... my lovely and pretty bird, how can I be so lucky to have such a precious child?"

Taking her extended hands into his... he stroked them gently as he always did. However, every caress he gave, had his previous affection multiplied.

Her existence was the most precious, and every time those hands were touched by him, he felt blessed for being finally able to hold his daughter’s hands once again. The sensation of the little chubby hands was long gone, yet, her hold was as delicate as ever.

The daughter he somehow lost... was found again.

With every meeting, Orland could see a part of her past innocence. Her true character, the dreamy expressions of her visage and her cute speaking, were all still inside her.

Behind that dead and dull exterior, the bright Marianne was hidden.

’Until recently she was certainly gone... but now... I know she is there. She is no longer a mere shell...’

The girl lifted her gaze and locked eyes with the Duke. With his loving gaze, he now wanted to convey his affection.

’... Even though it is not time yet....... My bird... Your Father has been waiting a very long time... and I will keep waiting..... 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

I will wait gladly thousands of years... only to see you heal... to see your beaming smile that lights up my life... to hear your lovely voice once more.....

My child... this Father will love you even after his life comes to an end....... So heal... and fly freely again... my beautiful bird... I love you, my beautiful child...’

Orland said such things inwardly while meeting her eyes. However, after a few seconds, the eyes of the girl slowly lost the dim light they had.

They became clouded and in what took an instant, the dark grey... was a dearth of life.

Like a lifeless statue, she kept her gaze on him... although it was obvious that she was not precisely taking in the view.

Orland didn’t know how to take such a reaction. His mind didn’t jump to any ideas and just watched her still countenance.

At some point, only one thing ran through his mind.

The fact that she was gone.

For some reason, she had disconnected from the current situation. Hence, the sole method he managed to use in his choked alarm, was to call her name, to make her return.

"... Marianne...?"

His voice sounded flat as it choked the true worry inside him, leaving his mouth completely dry once her name came out.