You Think I Won't Talk?-Chapter 84

It felt as if we walked endlessly, bewildered by how wonderful the colours, the light, the scent, and even the touch of the dancing gentle wind felt against the bare skin of our face, caressing my dress and my long hair with every step we took.

It was as if we were hypnotized by what entered our eyes.

I was honestly confused by how we were reacting.

I was aware that it would be an amazing experience from the very beginning... But this much of... an entranced feeling... was completely unexpected.

After a long time of wandering around the designated paths that formed a kind of symmetrical drawing, intensifying the presence of our main destination at the centre, my mind began to work again.

Slowly, as if my thoughts had been finally permitted to regain their freedom, the reason behind my uncommon behaviour started to come up as the trance faded.

My sweet girl was the cause.

I could feel our heart unwilling to yield the reverie. Somehow, in my body, I felt the place as one extremely familiar, but at the same time, truly foreign.

It was such a contradictory sensation that I wasn’t able to say anything to Anne. And, along with the contradiction clashing inside us, I felt so happy to be able to accompany my girl as she encountered all of it.

Although her reaction was a hundred times more palpable than mine at the time, I had experienced these types of sensations before in my past life.

Everything was dark in my eyes during those endless days. I had gone through horrible things I never expected to encounter in my plain normal life and the world seemed off like I didn’t belong to it... Like I was in it, but not really permitted to be there. I was a foreign person in the world that surrounded me and... I had no place to go either.

I would take walks outside, trying to avoid being inside the four walls that made up my little one-room apartment. It was suffocating being there after those months I spent chained in that place, every time I closed the front door my air was sucked out of me and left my choked worthless body struggling to adapt to an undesired misery. However... Even when being outside, where no walls kept me trapped and insecure... I still felt caged.

I could still feel the cold steel in my ankle rubbing my skin with every movement. The light and colours wouldn’t appear in the views I saw of the supposedly colourful city... And my arms and sides wouldn’t stop feeling sore... even though it had passed a long time since I had escaped.

I had escaped... Yet I still felt trapped by his hand.

The floor felt so familiar to sleep in now. I always found myself pitiful for waking up outside of my bed, adopting the same position he had me in all those months. Even making sure to feel the cold each coming morning, I unconsciously would uncover myself from the sheets... Because back there that was how I would wake up from the little rest I could take... A dangerous rest that would surely take my life were I to let myself surrender to it.

Everything was monotonous and nothing was exciting.

My little walls would always take me to the park near my tiny apartment. I would seat there all day and look at the different shades of grey the sky would take during my stay.

I had wished to see the sky and the clouds so much... Yet they seemed so worthless and ugly... I wondered if I truly escaped my prison or just changed my cell... Many many times...

But there was a day... I felt just like Marianne now.

An old lady came to me and began speaking to me. Her words felt so distant, but I still could hear the kindness in her voice. She was a tiny lady, with hair that looked white even in my helpless eyes.

"The weather cast says it will rain... Darling, it’s cold these days, but I always see you here barely covered... You need to take care of your body, so you can live a long life..."

"... Ah Yes..."

"... Are you alright sweetheart...?... You’re crying..."

"... Yes..."

".... Life is difficult isn’t it?"

"... I guess... I don’t really know Lady... I am sorry for this..."

"You should be."

"...Huh?"

"With all those tears in your eyes, how will you be able to see the sky you’re always looking at? Cry them all out along the rain that has started to fall and take a good look at it when it clears up..... I’ll share my umbrella and wait with you, darling. You shouldn’t be alone like this."

The old lady took a seat next to me and waited patiently by my side, in pure silence as tears fell without control from my eyes. The scent of her cologne was comforting and the way the rain seemed to drown my sniffer was calming. We stayed there for what seemed to be hours and in the afternoon the rain began to cease along with my tears.

"... My late husband... Always used to tell me that... Finding people to love, with who he could live his present and his future was what saved him many times from giving up on this world... He was a sensitive man... Yet he still fell in love with this stingy granny Hihihi."

"..."

"..... Now that he’s gone, I understand why he always said that... I used to tease him, he was a romanticist... I miss him so, so much... However... I still have many people to love and live for. He left me with five wonderful children and three grandchildren with two more to come... Darling... Don’t waste away anymore. Just look at this sky... Isn’t it a wonderful thing?"

I was resigned to seeing the same lifeless sky I had been seeing for almost a year, nonetheless, I wanted to follow her suggestion... Deep down I was hoping for something to change because her way to talk and share her story with me had made me aware of something I had yet to decipher back then.

But that granny gave me one important hint.

’People to love...’

The sky wasn’t as colourless now.

"I love the sky too... it always brings us light even when it’s covered with clouds. Louis liked days like these a lot..."

Overwhelmed and with a tightened heart, that was the moment I felt a bit of Marianne’s current sensations.

’Heheh... How nostalgic... Granny Martha... I wonder if she knows I died...’

I felt sad thinking I left before her. Granny Martha was very important to me and one of the people I wanted to give my best to because she helped me escape from my second prison. But... Now is not the time to think about that.

’... Marianne~ sweetheart~’

The little flinch of our heart, demonstrating that she heard my thoughts calling for her, was short but adorable.

My baby panda was aware again of my presence and I could feel how she felt ashamed of forgetting about me.

’Haha! It’s alright, dummy! You don’t need to mind me, darling. We came here mainly for this. Let’s just enjoy it, alright? We are free to do so, Anne.....’

"..."

’I’ll tell you something very important..... We will always be free... as long as we let ourselves be free.’

No matter the situation, even if we can’t speak yet or smile as much as we like... We must know that we own our freedom.

’What do you want to do? Should we walk a bit more? I’m fine with anything~ The afternoon is just starting, so...’

I felt how our hand clasped tighter the canvas with its fingers, instantly letting me know a little about her wishes right now.

’Hmm? Do you want me to do my thing?’

Now my hands felt warmer and interpreting it as a yes, I was a bit unconvinced of that being all she wanted to do.

’... Really?..... But... That’s too quick.....’

"...."

’Well, it’s fine. How about we sit at the fountain? I want to see the view from there. I also think it would be nice to eat some of our snacks while I draw... What do you think?’

Just as I mentioned the snacks our cheeks got flushed. Did she like it that much?... My girl is lovely as always.

’Alright~ let’s do that~’

We started walking straight to the fountain and sat on its edge. The water was crystal clear and the air around it felt as pure as the flowing water on it. I even dived my fingers into it soaking them in the unattainable liquid and its freshness bathing my tips was as pleasant as the air filling my lungs.

’Woah... This place is so nice~’

I glanced over our surroundings and, after observing meticulously for the perfect sight, I found a nice perspective to use for my first drawing in this world.

’... The Duke calls you a little bird... So isn’t this perfect?’

Crowning one of the pillars over the thick vines, a nest with a tiny bird chirping, was found by my sniper’s eyes. Its feathers seemed freshly gained and shined under the sun beautifully. The flower decorating the vines right under it, made it a spectacular scene to frame in a drawing.

Not only that but behind it, the rocky peaks I saw from the bridge connecting to the library, highlighted the background. It was like I was destined to portray the scene with these new pair of hands I have now.

’Awesome... You will love it, Anne. I dedicate this drawing to you and your father. So take a good look sweetheart. This drawing... I want you to know and have no doubt... that I’m making it with all of the love I feel for you.’

Declaring my intent behind my drawing, I smiled sweetly at my dear Marianne.

Ever since Granny Martha taught me how to draw... I only dedicate my drawings to people important to me.

The people I was able to find to give my love to... Are the only ones who ever received my drawings.