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... -do list: liberate Isabella Rodriguez, my hot AP Biology teacher who apparently hasn’t had a proper orgasm since Taylor Swift was still country. But that’s definitely a Dark Peter problem, not a regular Peter problem.

I seriously need to come up with a better name for my enhanced form. "Dark Peter" sounds like I’m cosplaying as some emo Batman knockoff.

For now, I’m trying to focus on my classes and pretend I’m not mentally cataloging the sexual frustration levels of the entire t ...

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