I Own a Funeral Home: Live Stream Following Other Streamers and Shock the Entire Internet! - Chapter 37: Could He Be God’s Illegitimate Son?

Song Shi came to an immortal world where demons and monsters were rampant. He thought he was going to take a trepidatious road to immortality, but ended up awakening to a death-defying system, gaining strength from death and getting stronger every time he died.

The whole style took a sudden change. Other people cultivated to seek immortality, but he was already immortal, and could only seek immortality by having himself killed in various ways, either by killing himself or by letting people kill him.

“You were killed 10 times by the Yin spirit, awakening the spiritual root of fire!”

“You were killed 10 times by the zombie, awakening the innate divine power!”

“You were killed 10 times for excess cultivation, awakening the Daoist heart!”

“You were killed by a formation, formation level +1!”

“You were killed by an alchemy explosion, +1 alchemy level!”

Pure Yang Spiritual Body, Nine Yang Divine Body, Sun Sacred Body; Vajra Spiritual Body, Golden Divine Body, Draconic Sacred Body; Psychic Sword Body, Innate Dao Body; Formation Master, Alchemy Master...

His cultivation was a fun journey, and he kept finding ways to kill himself on his way to the top of the immortal path...

Years later, the world rumor had it that once Song Shi died, the immortals were terrified, the demons trembled, and ten thousand Buddhas retreated!

“When Shi Qingluo, an agriculture expert, opened her eyes again after dying, she realised she had transmigrated as a farm girl in an ancient era. Her story started from when she was sold by her family, and was currently being forcibly taken away. She subdued evil with greater evil, and violence with greater violence, forcing the troublemakers to cry in defeat and ended up giving in to her.

Then, she married off to another village. She became the wife of Scholar Xiao Hanzheng who was in a coma, and had just been abandoned by his extended family. Qingluo looked at Scholar Xiao’s frail mother, delicate younger sister, and obedient younger brother, and rubbed her chin out of satisfaction. From now on, they were all hers to protect.

Since then, she took on the crucial role as the family’s breadwinner, led the family towards prosperity and accidentally became the nation’s wealthiest individual.

Xiao Hanzheng woke up to find that his brother, who supposedly died from drowning, was alive and kicking. His sister was still at home. And their mother, who was supposedly eaten by wild beasts when she entered the forest in hopes of earning money to buy medicine, was still alive. More importantly, he even gained a capable wife after waking up. All of his immediate family members loved and relied on her. He looked at her and asked, “If you’re the breadwinner, what should I do?” His wife said, “You just have to look pretty, and earn a position in the government so that you can support me.” Xiao Hanzheng’s frozen heart suddenly came alive. “Sure!”

Since then, he has worked hard in his career. He went from being an elementary scholar to a distinguished minister with great influence. He knew that from the moment he woke up, his wife was his saviour.

[Warning: Mature Content]

“Master, are we going to keep what happened last night a secret between us?”

“For how loud you moaned and cried, Qing-er, I think the whole world has already learned all about it, and your concern is irrelevant.”

Yun Qing-er, the only disciple of the legendary immortal swordmaster Bai Ye, has been hiding her feelings for her master for years. Unaccepted by norms and morals, it is the darkest secret that she swears to bury deep within her heart.

But life has other plans. Bai Ye's desire for her burns hot beneath his solemn appearance. He will teach her not only the art of the sword, but also the pleasures of life that she never knew existed before.

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Smut starts at Chapter 17, with a teaser in Chapter 11. A bit softcore at first but will get wilder quickly as the story moves on :)

Note that this is NOT a typical cultivation romance. Immortals and spiritual power and whatnot are all plot devices… You'll see what I mean in just a few chapters!

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[Sneak Peek]

He pinned me against the poplar tree at the center of the garden. A breeze rustled past, stirring the sunlight sparkling through the autumn foliage above us, and a sprinkle of gold fell over his shoulders. “Say you want me,” he whispered.

“Bai Ye—” I breathed, but the rest of my words were replaced by moans the moment he traced his kisses along my neck and took my earlobe into his mouth.

Familiar tingles roared through me as he nibbled and suckled gently. His hand slid up my chest, and he played with my sensations with his lips and tongue and fingers until my arms trembled around him. All other thoughts vanished from my mind. The only thing I knew was the irresistible feeling of him on me, so overwhelming that my knees started growing weak. I would've fallen if he wasn't pinning me hard against the tree.

“Bai Ye …” I moaned again, clawing at his clothes. “Of course I want you … Right here, right now.”

He let out a soft puff of laughter, and his hand grazed down, gripping the folds of my dress. With a rip of fabric, he tore them away.

“I’ll say it again, I’m not really a genius singer, nor a genius creator! I have no love for singing! My ideal is to be a carpenter!”

“But Mr. Xu, you have won the Grand Slam of awards, and your albums have accumulated the world’s number one sales! Your lyrics and production have won so many kings and queens with one hand! You are considered by everyone to have crushed one by yourself. era!”

“Didn’t you agree to talk about woodworking? Don’t you want to do it?”

“No, boss! But this is your TV station, you have to think about the ratings! Everyone just wants to hear how awesome you are, not your woodworking hobby! The story of being banned?…Okay, okay, can we talk about last year’s rich list? We all know that there are four Chinese women in the top 50 of the world’s richest list, all of them are single, and it is rumored that they are all single with you…”

“Actually, woodworking is very interesting, let’s talk about woodworking!”

“Why don’t we talk about An Xiaojing An Tian? Everyone is very curious. She is not married, but her three children are all surnamed Xu, and…”

- Description from novelbuddy