You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale - Chapter 40 - The Cucumbers Have Matured

A single question has been on every fighter’s mind since the dawn of the world—which weapon is the mightiest?

The answer to that question came in an unexpected form.

Martial Online—a game that was going to revolutionize the world and its future generations was created. It was said to be so realistic that it was near impossible to tell the difference between it and reality.

Jesse Kraham, a youth from Nocklund, had been suffering from an incurable disease since he was a child. Because of the disease, he couldn't live a normal life, and he'd been living a lonely life.

However, the universe was on his side, and he received one stroke of luck that changed the course of his life and the world entirely.

……………………………………………………………

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Talented in Magecraft but useless in physical combat?

Bro!

You wouldn’t believe this!

Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday.

Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang.

Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?!

I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right?

RIGHT?!

I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be!

From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?!

A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something!

Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle.

Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS!

GAAAAH!

Jeez this is happening too fast!

However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while!

A new path of power!

I can NOT be an undead!

I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead!

Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them!

I’m no longer on the path for Undeath!

Only Lifelessness awaits me!

I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale!

I am... SKULLIUS!

And I’m not an UNDEAD!

.......

[Sneek Peek]

“What kind of skills are these? What can I do with them? They better not be worthless VOW Bro!”

[Please refrain from calling me- you know what, whatever! Scroll down to access the actual descriptions about the skills].

Um ok.

Click.

~~~

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Flesh It Like You Mean It | Lv. 1 ]

Tired of looking dead? Are your eyes hollow? Do you need to smile and show off something other than bones? Call on the power of cosmetic flesh and get a body that's to your liking (not really).

----

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Lifeless Evolution ]

Tired of the same old undead evolutions? Is being undead not trendy anymore? Is your Lich a sockethole who doesn’t admire your efforts? Well then, try the Lifeless Evolution Package. For strong, unorthodox and peculiar evolutions that will knock your skull off.

-IfyouareseeingthisinyourGuidancefielditmeansthatthisskillisboundtoyouandisnon-refundable-

~~~

I’m going to regret this right?

......

I was reincarnated into the world of a novel I’d only read the free chapters.

Thankfully, the blood flowing in the body of the person I’d possessed was blue.

“The prominence of our family comes from the blessing bestowed upon us by the royal family throughout the generations.”

Maybe this is the price to pay for that. But I got a father who seems overly loyal to the Emperor. And because of that, I was forced to become a Civil Servant.

While everyone else enjoys romance, I’m just spending my days as a Civil Servant.