Megami Buchigire - Chapter 24 - JSDF (Collection of Weirdos)
Chapter 24: JSDF (Collection of Weirdos)
A form of martial arts that is almost representative of Japan. It is said to be focused not so much on defeating one’s opponent, but more on mutual respect and helping the other person improve while they do the same to you. The well-known phrase that best summarizes this concept is ‘start with a bow and end with a bow.’
But if one asks whether that makes kendo practical or not, the answer would undoubtedly be yes.
Everyone already knows about the three stances1 of kendo, but what I want to bring attention to is the great flexibility of attacks.
In kendo, one holds the shinai with both hands apart. Due to this, just a small movement of either hand can lead to great movement of the sword tip, which enables a huge variety of slashes that can come from numerous directions.
Unlike other martial arts, though the wielder is limited to just a sword, that sword can birth innumerable cuts at speeds faster than the human eye can follow.
As long as the practitioner is given a stick, they’d be invincible. That’s what kendo is.
“I, I give up degozaru.”
(T/N: Yayoi-san ends all her sentences with degozaru like a samurai.)
And in such a kendo dojo, there is a teenage girl bent over with exhaustion.
It is the one who was reverse-summoned under the influence of a heartbreak just the other day, the nekomimi samurai Yayoi-san.
She is not wearing the breastplate. More like, because of her ears, she is not wearing the helmet either. And of course, neither is she wearing the gauntlets.
Because of that, a pretty loud sound rang out from her head, but Graios-san held back so it’s alright.
More like, if he didn’t hold back, then Yayoi-san’s skull would have caved in, nekomimi and all. Let’s not worry about the bone structure of the areas where her ears are connected to her head.
“I’m impressed. That was pretty good swordsmanship for someone so young, and a woman even. If only my son had half your talent.”
In contrast, Graios-san is also holding a shinai but not wearing any of the protective gear.
Once he was told to put them on because it’s dangerous, but he curtly refused with a single curt “too bothersome” and that was that.
Incidentally, Adachi-kun had joined in at the start, but he practices an ancient sword school and not kendo, so he didn’t put on the gear either.
In other words, despite the long spiel about kendo at the start of this chapter, not a single person is practicing kendo.
When I started, it was supposed to have been related somehow.
Before I knew it, it had turned irrelevant all by itself.
Plot is important, isn’t it.
“Conversely, I think Graios-dono and Adachi-dono are pushing your aged bodies too far. After moving around so much, doesn’t your body hurt?”
“It’s true my body has been getting a bit stiff lately, but that thing called a ‘compress’ works wonders.”
Apparently this former emperor has gained health in Japan, in exchange for smelling of compress.
It’s a secret that due to that, Makami-san, who has a sharp nose, has been in agony.
Incidentally, Linbel-san has also taken to secretly using them habitually. The average age at the Adachi residence is actually quite high, come to think of it.
“But anyways, I hope that helped you with letting off some steam. Seriously, agreeing to being sent to another world just because of a heartbreak. You foolish girl.”
“What do you mean by baka degozaru! I-, it’s true that I didn’t really think it through, but…… Graios-san yourself, you also abandoned your own country to come here degozaru.”
“Ughh, you’ve indeed prodded me where it hurts.”
Yayoi-san’s counterattack leaves Graios-san scratching the back of his head while smiling wryly.
“My son was already at a good age. More like, me not retiring was the problem. The hero summoning was clearly a move aimed to take power away from the throne, but at the same time it was also the first test of his caliber.
I cannot imagine what his current relationship with the hero is, nor the state in which the empire will proceed towards. However, it was just right as a critical turning point. So that’s why I decided to remove myself from the scene.”
Graios-san spoke with deeply emotional eyes, at which Yayoi-san also becomes at a loss for words.
However, despite all his big talk, Graios-san’s biggest reason was ‘being the emperor is so troublesome.’ But inner thoughts are called inner thoughts because only the person knows it and no one else, so there’s no problem.
“Well, as a result, I discovered a place to retire that’s far more comfortable than the excessively extravagant imperial palace. My body is only going to deteriorate from here on, but it should at least suffice to be of help with the younger generation’s growth.”
“I understand! I shall be in your care degozaru!”
Conclusion: Today, too, the food is delicious, so all is well.
Today, too, Japan is at peace.
“…… Oi, pass me the oil.”
“Give me a second. This rust is quite persistent.”
At the same time, in a certain JSDF garrison barracks.
The ones who are currently disassembling their issued handguns and applying maintenance to each and every part are the knights who’ve come from another world.
Just as knights frequently perform maintenance on their swords, soldiers frequently perform maintenance on their guns.
As such, there are soldiers who love their guns as partners, and even some who carve their names onto their guns.
Rather, there are even instructors who strongly recommend their subordinates to carve their names on in order to develop affection towards their guns. Roar, Megido Fire! 2
“Ah, I dropped the spring!”
“You did what?! Apologize! Apologize to the spring!”
“Spring-san, I’m very sorry! Spring-san, I’m very sorry!”
A knight accidentally dropped a spring, got yelled at by the instructor, and is now doing push-ups while apologizing to the spring.
This is an everyday scene in the JSDF. My dear readers, please also treat your belongings with care, and sincerely apologize when you accidentally hurt it in any way.
“Still, though the shape is strange, it seems that ‘swords’ are still needed in the battlefield.”
“Indeed. But the reasoning does make sense.”
What these two knights are polishing are the bayonets for attaching near the muzzle.
In current warfare, foot soldiers carrying guns is the default, but one would be mistaken in thinking that hand-to-hand combat is no longer a thing.
As recently as the Iraq War there have been records of hand-to-hand combat. The JSDF also is taught, after storming an enemy base with a hail of cannon fire, to stab still alive enemy troops even while their guns spray bullets.
After somehow escaping from cannon fire and bullets, what’s waiting for the enemy is a gang of stab-happy monsters. Scary, right?
“Trigger-san, I’m very sorry! Trigger-san, I’m very sorry!”
“Eh, that guy dropped something again?”
“How do you even drop a trigger.”
After apologizing to the spring, that knight begins apologizing to the trigger almost immediately afterwards.
Just so, the JSDF grow stronger every day. How reliable.
Today, too, Japan is at peace.
1Gedan: the lower-level stance ; Chuudan: the mid-level stance ; Joudan: the above-head stance
2 I believe this is a reference to Megami Tensei, though I can’t find this exact phrase.