Billionaire's Pleasure-Chapter 141: Can’t Erase

Brad’s POV

Everything was a blur to me after that night. I began drinking heavily throughout the day, from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep. I spent my days numb and inebriated because the truth of what I had told Aspen was too much for me to bear in the few hours of daylight that I had. In order to continue drinking, I ordered a lot of takeaways and ate whenever I couldn’t resist the temptation to eat. Days were followed by weeks. After I missed a session, Claire sent me a series of messages begging me to get in touch with her. She conveyed her concern for my well-being and her want to meet with me in person. They begged me to stop drinking, but I ignored them.

My facial hair and beard were beginning to grow. I only showered so I could go out for more drinking. Despite the fact that I was watching too much television, not exercising, and unintentionally ruining all my hard work, it didn’t matter. People who knew me and were concerned about my whereabouts were calling, but I still felt like an outsider, both to myself and to the rest of humanity.

For a few days after I returned home, I sought solace in the memories I had of Gerome’s passing. When I read Carl’s final report before he died, I was overcome with grief and couldn’t handle it anymore. In therapy, I was unable to tell her the truth, no matter how horrible it was. I couldn’t let Emily know his pain or understand my concern for her and the kids as I watched him fall from the inside out. If I were to tell my superiors, they would be unable to comprehend what I was saying.

My spirit may have needed me to tell Claire at the time, but I afterward regretted doing so. As soon as I realized she was still there, I was infuriated to see her hunched over the baggage. I was taken aback by the sudden shift in my emotions when I recalled that night. I felt exposed and enraged after she seemed to have snooped into my turbulent past. Instead, I continued to sip on more alcohol. To maintain myself well enough to leave the house if the necessity arose, I would order food on a regular basis and then sleep all day and drink all night.

After some time had passed, I decided to bring the bags into the house and go through them. The remorse and agony I felt over my failure to properly dispose of them weighed heavily on my shoulders as I dragged them into my bedroom to sort through.

Everything was included in Emily’s collection. I could still taste the happiness I felt when she added every single photo of us that had ever been taken. We had everything we needed, including his family’s backing, his friends, and the Navy’s support. I was reminded of how much I loved his children as I went through old photos and relived their youth. As soon as I saw that mad look in his brown eyes, I remembered all the things I had stolen from Gerome and Emily.

A straw that broke the camel’s back, despite it being neither Emily nor Gerome’s fault, was the fourth child. Something inside him suddenly broke down, and I was actually startled when the stress revealed itself in violence as the day approached. In the absence of any evidence, I could only speculate that my silence may have been a factor in the death of my other soldiers. Neither he nor I would have liked the break, and I didn’t want him to leave the Navy this way.

While I was resentful of Gerome for making me spend the night, I also felt guilty for murdering him. For the sake of my men, I had always followed orders and saved them. I wasn’t sure whether I’d ever feel better again.

I walked over to my laptop and took a deep breath before returning to the stack of photos on my floor. Clicking on my files led me to videos I had taken of us throughout the years. Things from our childhood remained in my possession, even if they were no longer relevant.

In the footage I chose, I saw him rushing out of the delivery room to announce the birth of his first child. My memory of the day he informed me that Emily had become pregnant is vivid, and it was the first time I had ever seen him show such joy. I couldn’t understand why having children was a requirement in our line of work. My heart broke as I viewed the footage of Bryan in my arms, even if it looked like a terrible injustice. When I first saw him, I was smitten.

Gerome was just as enthused about the second two as he had been about the first two. Gerome was always on the go, but he had a support system of the family he could rely on to keep things running smoothly while we were away from home. At home, he was an excellent father and husband, and I spent a lot of time sitting by the pool and having family dinners.

Seeing my wedding speech, which was full of happiness and love, brought tears to my eyes. Despite the fact that I was grieving the loss of a friend, it was a wonderful day.

During our expedition, the fourth child experienced a time when he appeared depressed and brooding. When he started to lose consciousness, why couldn’t I see it? Was there something I could have done more of?

My mind was filled with recollections that made me cry while the videos played on.

When I found the fresh bottle of bourbon in the kitchen, I had to give it a try. Preparation for tomorrow necessitated an evening of my own. For a few more hours, I needed to be completely out of it.

The moment has come for me to grow up and accept responsibilities.