Breed Me, Daddy Alpha-Chapter 326

"No!" I screamed, shaking my head so hard my neck ached. "No, I’m not listening! Don’t tell me to listen, don’t you dare! I don’t care what you say, Damon, I don’t care! My baby is silent and I can’t stand it, do you hear me? I can’t! Don’t tell me to breathe, don’t tell me it’s okay, because it’s not okay, it will never be okay!"

"Arghhhhhhhhhh!" My throat was fire, my chest felt like it was collapsing, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t. My nails dug into Damon’s arms, dragging red lines down his skin, but he didn’t flinch. He never flinched from me.

My mind was spiraling, thoughts crashing over each other so fast I couldn’t keep them straight. What if the Goddess hates me? What if this is my punishment? What if I’m not strong enough to be a mother? Every thought made me shake harder, scream louder.

"No, no, no!" I cried, thrashing weakly against Damon, my body too wrecked to even fight properly but my soul clawing at everything. "Don’t touch me, don’t tell me to calm down, don’t—don’t—just bring my baby back!

I pounded my fists against his chest, weak and pathetic but filled with everything I had left. "I’m not listening, Damon! I don’t care what you say! I don’t care! My baby is silent and it’s killing me, it’s killing me, I can’t do this!"

My head spun, my vision blackened, and still I couldn’t stop talking. "Why is this happening? Why would the Goddess give me four only to steal one? Why would she let me survive this pain, this blood, this ripping open, just to laugh in my face? I can’t take it, Damon. I can’t live with silence. I can’t!"

I collapsed against him, shaking, sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. My chest hitched, my throat burned, my whole body felt like it was being eaten alive from the inside. Damon’s tears fell into my hair, his arms crushing me against him like he was the only thing keeping me alive.

And I just kept whispering, broken, messy, desperate:

"I want to see him," I screamed, my voice breaking so hard it felt like glass tearing through my throat. "Give him to me! Do you hear me? Give me my baby!"

I was shaking all over, weak and broken, my body a wreck, but I didn’t care. "Bring him here! Bring my dead baby here! I don’t care if he’s not breathing, I don’t care if you think he’s gone, I want him in my arms! He’s mine, Damon, mine! You don’t keep him from me, you don’t hide him from me!"

"Bring my baby here right now, Damon, or I’ll crawl off this bed and bleed across the floor to get him myself!"

My head dropped against Damon’s chest again, sobbing so hard my body convulsed, and I kept whispering through the wreck of my voice, "Give me my baby... please, just give me my baby..."

And then the baby was brought.

The doctor’s hands shook as he carried that tiny, terrifyingly still body toward me, and my breath caught so hard I thought my heart would split in two. My arms were trembling, my whole body screaming in pain, but I held them out anyway because I didn’t care if I bled more, I didn’t care if I tore open again. I just needed him. I just needed my baby in my arms.

The second they laid him against me I sobbed so violently I almost choked. He was warm but too quiet, too still, and I pressed his tiny body against my chest like I could fuse him into me, like I could force my heart to beat inside his.

"Hey," I whispered through tears that poured and poured, soaking his little face. "Why did you leave mummy, huh? Why?

"You’ve got Damon’s blood in you, you’ve got my fire, you’re supposed to be strong, you’re supposed to scream the loudest, you’re supposed to make the walls shake with your voice. So why are you quiet, huh? Why are you quiet, my little one?"

I pressed my face into his tiny chest, my tears soaking him. "Don’t leave me, please. Don’t you dare leave me. I’ll never forgive you if you do. I’ll never forgive the Goddess either. You’re supposed to stay. You’re supposed to grow. You’re supposed to call me mummy. You’re supposed to break my things and drive me crazy and then kiss me goodnight like nothing happened. You’re supposed to live."

I kissed his head again, my voice breaking into ugly sobs. "Oh my baby... oh my baby... breathe for me. Please just breathe for me."

"Hey, hey, my love, mummy’s here. Come back to me. Please, just one sound, just one cry, that’s all I need. Please!"

And then it happened.

The tiniest sound, broken and shaky, but real. A squeak first, so faint I almost thought it was in my head, and then—oh Goddess—louder.

I screamed with him. . "Oh my God! Oh my Goddess! Damon, he’s crying! He’s crying! Do you hear it? Do you hear our baby?" I pressed him against my chest, rocking weakly.

"You scared me, you stupid little thing, you almost killed me, you made me beg and scream and hate the world, and now—now you come back? Oh my baby, I love you, I love you, I love you so much, don’t you ever do that to me again!"

Damon’s arms were around both of us now, shaking as hard as I was, his tears falling into my hair, but all I could hear was that cry. That beautiful, perfect cry.

"It..It’s..a miracle" the doctor stammered. Too stunned to speak.

I sobbed harder, pressing my face to my son’s, whispering, "That’s it, scream at me, scream at the world, let them know you’re here. You’re mine. You’re alive. My miracle."