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Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book-Chapter 255
Chapter 255
Translator: yun
There had already been many things decided for her the moment Ashley Rosé was born. Regardless of her own wishes. She had no freedom to decide what clothes, much less what dress, she wanted to wear and she had lost the freedom to leave her palace and wander freely. She was forced to control her gaze and gestures like an elegant swan by thoroughly and patiently refining herself.
“Every time someone called her a ‘flower’, I can’t help but feel sorry for her.”
“Is that so?”
She lived a life no different from that of other young ladies who were refining themselves to prepare for their future marriages. It was like a prison cell without bars.
“Don’t you feel the same way? I always thought you did. You had once been a proud templar until you were forcefully brought here and lost everything only to become one of the emperor’s consorts, didn’t you? That child is the princess. How is the path the princess is walking on now any different from ours?”
She had already lost the glorious future she was promised to the emperor a long time ago. That was also when she had lost all hope. She and Auresia had succumbed to their despair and she could see that Ashley was close to giving in too.
“Even if it’s for her future marriage, all that’s waiting for the princess at the end of her path will be sacrifice!”
Back in her hometown, the Temple of Vulcanus, Ioste had been free of everything. She had not been forced to do anything there. Whether it be to force a pretty smile, keep her hands clean or wear beautiful dresses… She was forced to do it all once she arrived here. That was when she changed. Regardless of her own wishes, she was forced to become someone other than herself.
‘Someone I had never imagined I’d be back in Vulcanus… I’m a stranger to myself now.’
Had Ashley ever thought of Auresia as her mother? She didn’t know. She felt sorry for her. If that was the case, was Auresia’s attitude a result of her motherly love? Was it because of her maternal love that she had insisted on Ashley’s lady-in-waiting so fervently? No. Ioste believed that things were a little different from how they seemed. Auresia was just a heartless woman.
‘In order for a woman born with divinity to escape death, they have no choice but to end up as the emperor’s consort.’
She thought Auresia thought the same. Was she pushing the child out of her love for her? Well, Ioste no longer understood what motherly love was any more.
“I feel as if I have been disillusioned by the Empire.”
When Ioste raised her head, she met the clear and unabashed gaze of Auresia.
“Auresia, don’t you feel the same?”
Each time Auresia looked at her like this, she didn’t look human. She looked too distant and faint. This… might be a feeling only those who had lost too much could feel.
“You remain silent even now. How frustrating…”
Ioste touched her forehead with a finger. A deep sigh left her lips.
“From the first time we met 16 years ago till this very moment, I… I never knew what you wanted.”
But a part of her heart still pitied and felt sympathetic towards this woman. Because she understood that it wasn’t because she didn’t care that she seemed detached.
“Ioste.”
Auresia slowly turned her head to gaze off into a distance.
“I’m sorry.”
Like a moon that had risen during the day, the fine strands of her hair were brilliantly illuminated by the sunset. Auresia slowly started speaking. She had gotten rid of the slight curl in her eyes that made her look almost seductive before speaking with a low voice that reminded Ioste of freshly-drawn water from a new well. In other words, she sounded as empty as a white container.
“What I want is not so different from what you want. But I never knew I had been that frustrating to you.”
Auresia placed her hands together. She flashed a smile as bitter as the morning sun.
“Are preparations for the coup going smoothly?”
Ioste, who had remained cordial until Auresia spoke those words, instantly frowned. The moment Ioste raised her head, her wary gaze turned to face Auresia.
“So, you knew.”
“Of course I do. How could I not?.”
Auresia smiled faintly.
“I knew from the moment you stopped contacting me. You had grown tired of waiting so you joined the 2nd Prince’s coup.”
Still frowning, Ioste placed her hands under the table. She didn’t think Auresia would find out but she never expected her to be so direct about it either.
“Ah. His Majesty has no idea about this yet, so don’t worry.”
Ioste turned flustered at Auresia’s words.
“Just to add, it wasn’t that difficult to find out, especially given your flustered expressions. You have been doing everything I asked you to, haven’t you?”
She was right. Since the very moment Ioste had joined hands with Auresia 16 years ago, she had done everything she had been told to do. Bringing Fleon and Ashley closer together had been her idea. Falling out with his older twin had made him pour his remaining affections towards his sister till the point he was almost obsessed with her.
“You must have been anxious.”
But she had no idea what she was doing all that for or what Auresia wanted. It was as if she was walking in the dark.
What Ioste continued to believe in was what Auresia had lost and her hatred as a result of it. And she still believed in it now. That loss was the only thing Ioste could trust.
“How could I blame you… The moment you’re at your lowest and feeling the most despair, nothing could compare to the sweet arrival of an opportunity.”
But Ioste was exhausted. Because she had waited for far too long. Right when she was feeling this fatigue, the 2nd Prince’s proposal fell upon her lap like a beam of light. It tasted so dizzyingly sweet like a pillar of water appearing before a traveller wandering in the desert.
“Could you help with the coup? Everything has already been prepared.”
If this list of names was real, perhaps it could be possible… was what she thought. The names all had been that of powerful templars. Actually, she had thought of Auresia when she realised.
‘I wonder what she thought when she met the princess?’
It wasn’t as if Ioste was really blind to Auresia’s desires. What she had yearned for was such an ideal but on the other hand, Ioste herself wanted to see it come true. Perhaps it was all Ioste wanted to see before she died. But the chances were low and it was too much of a reach. Ultimately, Ioste chose to remain by Auresia’s side.
“Yes. It’s true. I had agreed to partake in the coup three months ago.”
Breaking the silence, Ioste readily confessed. Before she could realise it, she had regained her calm.
“Vulcanus would be taking centre stage in the coup Julian, the 2nd Prince, would be holding in five days time.”
A coup, huh. It was such a terrifying thing to say. She could lose everything. But she was allowed to. Her revenge was justified. Ioste had once been a blacksmith who was freer than anyone else. Who could she seek help from for the loss of her soul?
The life she led as the soul content with her hammer, creating things with her calloused hands and the occasional swollen blister on it, had turned blank. Now, only memories were left. Now, even the scars she had gotten from holding her hammer had faded. She had been forced to forget.
“All the preparations were complete. Now… There’s no turning back.”
Ioste, who had been hesitating to speak, closed her eyes before adding.
“I had been hesitant to tell you.”
For the past 18 years, Ioste had been living as if she had been dead. She had been on a tragic journey to the destination that was her death.
“If you were to inform the emperor now, I’ll be immediately executed.”
It had pained her to endure the passage of time that was like sand collecting in an hourglass by meaninglessly escaping to a cave. Because of her intense resentment towards the emperor, she had turned rigid and as a result had never lost herself.
“We, the people of Vulcanus, have never forgotten the moment they took you away from our lands.”
Because neither she nor the blacksmiths of Vulcanus had forgotten about their grudge against that man.
“My daughter, our god’s hammer will always strike in accordance to your will.”
She had been filled with resentment for so long, it was as if she was no longer living. So how could anyone blame her for seeking revenge?
“Hello. Ioste.”
Even without her saying a word, Ioste believed in Auresia.
“Would you like to take revenge together with me? It’ll be suicidal but I’m fine with that. Because we have nothing to lose.”
At some point in time, Ioste had chosen to follow the woman who could flash a beautiful smile even while looking like a doll with empty eyes. Those who lived like they were dead were forced awake for their people.
“I have no way of stopping you. Ioste.”
Auresia flashed a smile as brilliant as the one that day.
“That’s all I wish of you.”
Auresia’s face, which was revealed under the twinkling of the stars, resembled that of an actor on stage, illuminated by colourful stage lights. Ioste knew that this beautiful woman had lived a life more tragic than anyone else.
“The most miserable death will befall that rotten man.”
Auresia whispered in a sing-song manner. With one whisper, this place had transformed into her stage. And the rays of the setting sun became a spotlight that would only shine on her.
“A pain that would be the most suitable for that trash.”
Auresia was glowing.
“How delightful would it be if the emperor was dragged like a lowly pig to be stoned by the families of all the women he had killed to eventually die the most miserable death ever known? Could anything be more delightful?”
“If the coup succeeds, it will definitely be.”
“Yes. If you ‘succeed’.”
Auresia’s eyes curled upwards as she smiled radiantly as if she was questioning its possibility of success.
“My dearest Ioste, the best way to serve revenge is by keeping your heart ablaze and your head cool. Have you thought of everything?”
Well, did she have the time to contemplate? She had waited for so long.
“The emperor is already dying.”
“The emperor is a Templar of the Lord of the Gods.”
She could wait no longer. Of course, she didn’t agree to join without thinking some things through.
“Weren’t you the one who told me that the end was not much longer?”
Now, Ioste’s brilliantly blue eyes were glimmering with intense hatred. How could this woman remain so nonchalant? She herself had been so sick of feeling empty, resigned and hopeless. Perhaps this woman had become detached after so long. But within Ioste remained a dark, blazing rage that even after decades could not dissipate.
“I’ve waited for too long, Auresia.”
This was a chariot of fire. She could no longer stop. Even if she were to end up jumping into a fire that would consume her.
“I will leave everything to this anger.”
Even if this would lead her to a hell that consumed even her own son.
“It will definitely succeed.”
There was no turning back.
Ioste added before she left.
“This might be the last we ever meet.”
Auresia observed Ioste quietly.
“You’re right.”
Ioste tried to read the first emotion that appeared on Auresia’s face. What a shame. Did she really think that woman would reveal her emotions? Auresia used both hands to capture Ioste’s one.
“Ioste. I liked you.”