Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 28.5

“H-Hello?”

Yes, it’s me.

Was this really the time for such pointless jokes? The tension that had risen sharply had instantly cooled in the face of this ridiculous situation.

“I lost you.”

Well, who told you to wander off alone?

“Don’t talk to me like that just because I’m twenty.”

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You should have at least not gotten lost first.

“I wasn’t lost, I got swept up in the crowd. If I’m lost, then you’re lost too.”

Aw, right. Yohan is so, so scary.

“….”

I didn’t expect him to admit it so easily. His low voice and childish lisp caught me off guard, and I had trouble breathing. It felt too awkward and confusing… but why was it kind of cute?

It’s fine. I’m following you right now. You’re so small that I can’t see you, though.

Go Yohan’s nonsense quickly dissipated any strange feelings I had. Damn it, he was acting all high and mighty because of his height. I frowned and looked around. Wait, even now, my line of sight isn’t that low.

“I can see you.”

I lied.

Stop lying.

It came so suddenly. Go Yohan’s presence.

“You were just spinning around like a helicopter until a second ago.”

At the same time, a firm hand grabbed mine, almost breaking it. The low voice that had been coming through the speaker turned into a physical presence and scratched at my sensitive ear. I instinctively curled my body, covering my ear with my free hand as the cold sensation from his voice lingered. My heart was racing, thumping against my chest as it wouldn’t stop.

Go Yohan’s voice was heavy, and I liked it. His face wasn’t heavy, more like cold and smooth. That imbalance made my body tremble like crazy. Knowing that, I couldn’t help but respond sensitively to his whispers.

My whole body’s nerves and cells were like they were having a seizure. I took a deep breath and cautiously looked up. It was a defensive posture I had instinctively made without realizing. Go Yohan was looking down at me, his face a little blank.

“…Why?”

I tried to act casual as I scratched near my ear with my fingers and stood up. My heart was in pieces, but I had completely forgotten that I was holding Go Yohan’s hand.

Go Yohan stared at me with a blank expression. Then, he silently stared at his right hand. Why was he looking at that? My eyes followed his hand.

Surprisingly, even though I was holding his hand, I didn’t even realize I was holding it. It was such a foolish moment. My body, tense with worry, had been twitching on its own. I couldn’t calm my confused mind, not even when Go Yohan held my hand tighter, tapping my hand’s back with his fingers.

Finally, Go Yohan, who had been staring at his fingers, suddenly turned his gaze.

“Honestly, Kang Jun, your taste is really unique.”

“….”

“Your face is so red. Right now.”

His teasing voice softly brushed against my ear, and my body, which had been twitching, started to shiver. The embarrassment hit me all at once. Why the hell did I come here with him? Why did I even give Kang Suhyeon money before that?

It felt wrong to explode in anger here. I had more to lose than he did. I needed social standing, and he lived his life recklessly. If I argued with Go Yohan, it would always end in an unpleasant way.

I didn’t want to admit it, but the compatibility between me and Go Yohan was the worst. It always ended up with me getting caught in the middle. Was I just born to lose to Go Yohan?

“Oh, damn.”

I lifted one corner of my mouth as I looked at his teasing face and felt an extreme level of disgust. Now that I think about it, it’s pretty ridiculous. He was born with everything others would envy, but his deep inferiority complex made him pathetic.

“Why am I in this damn place?”

Why was I even bothered by my own physical lack of confidence? Instinctively, my gaze shifted toward the center of Go Yohan, and then it stopped around his thighs.

“This damn place, where?”

Damn, damn Kang Jun.

“Ah, never mind.”

I shivered. And only then did I realize. I was still holding Go Yohan’s hand. I hastily shoved my trembling hand into my pocket. I’m… not in my right mind.

I awkwardly turned my body. Of course, today of all days, there were so many people in the streets that I could barely move through them.

“I swear I’ll never come to a place like this again.”

As I pushed through the crowd, grinding my teeth in frustration, I was eventually pressed in by the mass of people, blocking the way. Excuse me. Excuse me. I tried calling out to someone beside me, but my voice was swallowed by the noise.

Right when I was about to feel overwhelmed, a familiar low voice reached my ears, and a firm hand touched my shoulder.

“Excuse me.”

Go Yohan’s voice wasn’t very loud, more on the quieter side, yet the man who hadn’t heard me immediately turned around. When he saw Go Yohan’s face, he quickly bowed his head, yanking on his friends' clothes to get their attention.

"He can't even hear my voice, but why does he listen so well to Go Yohan?"

I muttered my frustration inwardly while pretending not to notice my heart pounding faster than usual.

“You’re always getting lost, what’s the point of running around by yourself?”

“I’m good at finding my way.”

“What are you talking about? You always end up stuck in weird places.”

“What? What did you just say?”

I opened my mouth as if to say something but quickly closed it again. Even though he was teasing, I wasn't as angry as I thought I should be. I’ve really given in a lot, haven’t I?

No, this is all Go Yohan’s fault for being so unpredictable. Why does he have to pull these pointless pranks? I wasn't angry at all, not even when the certainty of it all popped into my head without thinking deeply about it.

Why hadn’t I noticed it before? Go Yohan’s way of tormenting me is exactly like that. He’s like a kid who’s desperate to tease someone they like, making sure they see the other person cry because of them.

Do you know what the best revenge on that kind of person is? Utter indifference.

“If you keep bothering me like this…”

The problem is I can’t be indifferent. I’m hopeless, too. My voice wavered because my heart was still racing, damn it. I’ll just pretend it's because I’m cold and brush it off.

“With you.”

But then, why did I hesitate? I chewed over my words. While I was trying to say something, I noticed someone running behind me, and Go Yohan pulled me toward him, which made it harder to think.

“With me?”

“You... You.”

“What about me?”

Damn it.

“Forget it.”

The only words I could think of were something childish like, “I’m not going to play with you.” But before I said it, it felt too immature, and after, I’d be the one embarrassed, so I dropped it.

“If you keep bothering me, then what? You’re going to have to say it if you want me to know.”

“There’s a snack stand.”

I had already lost my purpose of trying to relieve the motion sickness, but I pointed toward the snack stand, ignoring Go Yohan’s words. It was a pretty skillful performance.

“But there are too many people.”

My acting was very skillful. The reason it was skillful was that what I said afterward wasn’t acting at all. The snack stand, which also sold snacks, was filled with people wearing all sorts of fancy headbands, kids holding balloons, and parents chasing after those kids.

As my face turned paler, Go Yohan spoke again.

“Jun-ah.”

“Hm?”

“I’ll just swallow my spit.”

“……”

Should he? It seemed better that way. I silently agreed.

Go Yohan, perhaps not so different from me, scanned the crowded snack stand with a more somber and pale face than usual. While looking at Go Yohan, I accidentally bumped into five people. No one apologized, and I didn’t expect any either. That’s how chaotic the amusement park was.

Go Yohan, stunned, looked oddly more subdued. He spoke in a trembling voice.

“With yours.”

“Yeah… Hey.”

How can he still have those thoughts with such a disgusted look on his face? Go Yohan was truly something. He only ever said these things when it was the most chaotic. Because of that, his nonsense blended into the noise and disappeared. Even if someone overheard our conversation in this crowd, they probably wouldn’t understand exactly what was being said, it was so cleverly obscured.

However, Go Yohan was maintaining a clever distance. Was he doing this on purpose, or was he just not caring? I couldn't tell.

“Because of you, really.”

I didn’t look at Go Yohan. I just took off my coat and squeezed through the crowd inside the snack stand. It was so packed, I was sweating from the heat.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll go get a drink.”

“What? No need. Come here.”

I looked back. Go Yohan, making eye contact with me, tried to twist his body to come over, but failed repeatedly. The snack stand, packed beyond capacity, was like an impenetrable wall to him. At times like this, being tall was a disadvantage. Even though he tried to get through the crowd, it was difficult because people were pushing against him, making it impossible to create space.

“You, with your useless size, just go wait outside.”

“Hey, Jun!”

I ignored Go Yohan calling from behind. I silently moved forward, surrounded by a sea of black heads, feeling my frustration.

Did I make a mistake?

I scoffed at my own thoughts. Carefully stepping around people holding snacks, I walked a few steps forward. After all, the purpose of coming to the snack stand in the first place was Go Yohan. Even if it was a little difficult right now, if Go Yohan could at least get a sip of water, that’d be enough.

“I’m the one being unnecessarily devoted.”

“Huh?”

I muttered to myself, but the person in front turned around. My face immediately turned hot. It had been a thoughtless comment, and now embarrassment rushed over me. I quickly shook my head to get rid of it.

“Ah, no. Never mind.”

“Ah... Okay.”

Shit. I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t help but stare at the floor. When I finally looked up and met the employee’s eyes, I thought I might lose my mind. Still, I had to rely on my shamelessness. I forced a confident smile and scanned the menu. I had to pick something reasonable, something Go Yohan would like. Finally, as I pulled out my card and spoke, I was ready to continue.

“That lemonade…”

“Are you asking for one lemonade?”

Yes. My mouth froze before I could confirm my order.

Why do I always remember these pointless moments? Really, Kang Jun in love is just pathetic.

“Sorry, cancel the lemonade, and I’ll take one green grape lime instead.”

“Sure, please wait a moment.”

“Yes.”

Ah, crap. The excited tone in my voice was evident. The employee, tapping at the register, glanced at me, and we made eye contact. Damn it. I pretended to wipe my cheek, pressing my palm against my lips. My lip muscles twitched slightly, and it felt embarrassingly transparent.

Ah, really. This is so embarrassing.

“Here’s your green grape limeade.”

“Thank you.”

I lowered my hand from my face and took the cold, frosty drink from the counter. Speed was more important than taste in a snack stand like this. How is it so fast? Flustered, I turned my body to walk back to my spot, trying to clear space for a person who was trying to squeeze through and filled their spot as I moved slowly. Then, from a distance, I caught sight of Go Yohan, his cold face staring at me.

“What’s with that look?”

Sometimes Go Yohan is colder than winter. What could he possibly be thinking in that moment? I’ve never heard what’s behind that expression, so it’s natural I wouldn’t know, but still, that ignorance feels somewhat disappointing at times.

Should I go and ask? What was going through his mind before I came back here?

The sweet green grape and lime beverage sloshed dangerously near the top of the plastic cup. The liquid began dripping through the imperfect seal. Ah. I took my eyes off the drink and looked at my dampened fingers. I need to walk carefully, no distractions. Just as I was thinking this, the next thing I knew, there was a sudden scream.

“Ah!”

I bumped into something—no, someone—hard. If I had just bumped into them, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But why the hell did it have to be the back of my knee? I lost my balance, almost falling, and in the process, the drink I was holding spilled all over my white shirt.

“……”

What the hell? My shirt was turning a light green as the drink stained it. I looked down helplessly at the remaining liquid, barely an inch left. No, this… I looked around, trying to find Go Yohan, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Huh.”

Where did he go? Even in the midst of this, I completely forgot I had spilled my drink and stood on my tiptoes, searching. But even among the crowd, Go Yohan was nowhere to be seen.

“…Go Yohan?”

“Waaah!”

The crying of a child interrupted my thoughts. Startled, I turned around and saw a young boy clutching his forehead and nose, whining. He had fallen in the soft serve ice cream that was left on the ground. No, it couldn’t be. I looked down with despair, noticing the white streaks all over my calves.

“Ha.”

This is maddening. Why does fate never favor me? Just like Go Yohan said, I’m really a piece of trash. Damn it. Amid all this, I felt the stares from people around me and quickly adjusted my expression.

“Hey, are you okay?”

My tone came out kind and gentle, instinctively. I crouched down, checking if the boy was hurt. At that moment, I understood why people often said I looked like I would vomit. Even I could tell it sounded a little too much like a goody-two-shoes.

Thankfully, the boy seemed fine. He looked about seven years old—probably preschool age. Just to be sure, I asked again.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

The boy nodded with a face contorted from crying.

“That’s good. Where are your parents?”

The boy pointed in the direction where a pale-faced woman and man stood. I sighed and stood up. They didn’t need to be so distressed. After all, someone like me, who has to look good to others, would never say anything bad. Especially to a stranger.

The boy’s parents, pushing their way through the crowd, saw my clothes and bowed their heads with even paler faces.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. The kid suddenly ran and…”

“No, it’s fine. It’s so crowded, I didn’t see him either.”

See?

“We’ll pay for the cleaning. You shouldn’t let him cry; tell him to apologize for the trouble.”

“No, it’s alright. Just tell him to be more careful next time.”

I’m saying this to avoid another mess, damn it. At least I can be thankful that I took off my coat. The rest of my clothes and pants would be ruined too. Such a pathetic sight.

“Just a moment, we don’t have any cash on us, but if you give us your account number, we’ll send the money.”

“Don’t worry about it too much. This shirt wasn’t expensive. I can just buy a new one.”

“Are you waiting for someone?”

“Huh? Oh.”

The real embarrassing part is probably that I couldn’t stop standing on my tiptoes. After hearing the boy’s mother, I realized what I was doing. I was scanning the crowd like some kind of animal looking for food. Crazy. I quickly fixed my gaze forward and continued.

“Well, yeah. My friend is waiting for me. I’m really fine, so don’t worry about it too much.”

“Then could you give us your number at least? We’ll definitely contact you.”

“I’m really fine.”

I could be comforting the crying kid, but this whole situation was getting tiring. They kept insisting, but I really didn’t want to get involved.

Although it was an act of kindness and politeness, to me, it felt more like a bothersome obligation. Why make a big deal about the clothes? Just throw them in the washing machine.

The eyes on me were still uncomfortable. My shirt was soaked in green, and the ice cream had melted all over my pants. Being the center of attention like this was the absolute worst.

Finally, I gave up. The one who notices everything always loses.

“You can just write the number down here, and I’ll contact you right away.”

The man, presumably the boy’s father, pulled out his phone and turned on the screen, handing it to me. But before I could take it, someone suddenly snatched the phone from his hand.

Huh? I stared in shock at the direction the hand came from. There stood Go Yohan, pressing numbers on the phone.

“Excuse me, just a moment.”

“This is my number.”

Go Yohan cut off the boy’s parents as they stumbled to apologize. Tossing the phone back to me, he pointed at me with his chin.

“I need to change my friend’s clothes, so I’m taking him.”

“Yohan, where did you go…?”