I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World-Chapter 82: If I Don’t Die, I’m Killing That Child

I kicked him.

I hurled a chunk of land itself at him.

And then, I made him crash to the ground harder than I fell for my high school girlfriend. I used to walk ten steps behind her... until the police told me to stop calling her my girlfriend and following her.

Yet after all that, Malthus was still breathing.

We were both lying side by side like two friends tired after cursing each other’s entire generation.

I turned my head at Malthus.

His chest rising and falling like a dramatic teenage girl who just read her crush’s chat but didn’t reply for psychological dominance.

"Still breathing?" I asked.

"As if something like that could kill me."

"That something like that was everything that could hold me accountable for murder in a civilised world."

"As long as Humans exist, no world is civilised."

"Dude, you are out here invading others homes and humans are the ones uncivilized? Your double standards are bigger than your double chin."

"I don’t have a double chin!"

"I know. But you will have one after a few years. Since you can’t do sex, your dopamine hit will only come from food. That’s when you will relate to that comparison."

"You started your bullshit again. Are you not angry anymore?"

"I am. For now, I am just taking a breather like you."

"I see. So you are tired. That’s all for your revenge then. You can’t even find motivation to fight for your dead friends."

"You’re forgetting something, Malthus." I said, healing my minor bruises.

"What?"

I grinned and flipped to my feet like a dramatic action figure with unpaid rent.

"I still have the handkerchief around my neck."

Malthus heard that, and his smile returned like a bad sequel.

"So you still intend to eat my heart. Good. I wouldn’t like it any other way."

He flipped his legs and stood up in one clean motion, like some alien ballerina on testosterone.

We were face-to-face again.

I cracked my knuckles.

"Ready for getting bashed up again?"

"Allow me to do some hospitality too, Human king."

"Try if you dare."

"Human king, do you know what’s the essence of combat?"

I frowned. "Hitting the balls?"

Malthus shook his head.

"Murder."

"... I feel like I have heard this before. Did you steal it from somewhere? You gotta tell me, man. I hate copyrights."

"I don’t steal. Wherever you have heard it, know that they stole it from me. And besides, don’t look for the source, look for what I am trying to say."

I always look for the sauce. Mostly I ask about it on reddit.

But I doubt Malthus would understand.

"What are you trying to say then?"

"The essence of combat is murder and that’s what I am going to do with you."

"I would like to see you try—"

BAANNGG!

He tried right away.

His palm covered my face and he forcefully dragged me on the ground.

My head bumped into the land and I also faced problems in breathing because of his wide palm just on my face.

He was in the air and I was being dragged on the ground as a lawn mower.

And as if that wasn’t enough, people began dragging me further.

"Mommy, remember when I said I want to be like him?"

"Yeah, sweetie. What about it?"

"Forget that."

"That’s a good boy."

This stupid adopted kid.

If I came out of this alive, I will tell him myself that he is adopted.

But if I come out of this alive.

The way Malthus was dragging me on the ground, he would only stop till he reached the end of the world.

"I will keep dragging you until you reach the end and fall down to space."

The fuck? Does he think planets are flat? I won’t fall down, idiot. I would just keep rotating in circles.

His physics is weak too.

I have to do something.

I am a God of war right now but I am not literally a God.

Supreme Man only combined my 6969 skills that’s why I got all this power.

But still, that doesn’t change the fact that I have to do something.

Malthus was flying very fast and I won’t be able to land him a proper punch while being dragged like a bdsm porn actress.

So the only thing I could use properly were my eyes.

And I did just that.

I locked eyes with Malthus and then my eyes felt hot.

I saw in the sky-screen and they were glowing red.

Malthus noticed too but I gave him no time and pressed the trigger.

Two laser beams exploded from my eyes—pure rage and radiation—and I waited for his beautiful, pained scream.

But instead...

SHING!

My lasers got pushed back.

I couldn’t even glance away to see what was happening.

Then came Malthus’ voice, smug and echoing:

"You think you’re the only one who can do that?"

Malthus’ voice reached my ears and I instantly figured out the deal.

Malthus could also use laser eyes.

Superman ruined everything. Now everyone has laser eyes. It became an easy skill to give away.

But the people watching the war were sure hyped up.

"They are both using laser eyes!"

"I haven’t seen something like this in my entire life!" One man said.

You haven’t? Gotta stock comics in his house.

"You haven’t seen anything like this?" Another or second man asked.

"No. I haven’t."

"Bruh. I do that every day."

What? Who is this man? He should have joined the fight if he could do that.

"You shoot red lasers every day? With your eyes?" The first man was impressed.

I heard the second man’s laugh, then he said:

"I do that, yes. But not with my eyes."

"Then?"

"I do that with my dick!"

"..."

"What!?" The first man exclaimed.

"Yes. I do that every time I take a piss."

"So cool, man. Will you show me?"

"Sure. Let’s go to my bathroom."

"Yay."

Don’t yay, dude. That man doesn’t have any super power. He just has prostate cancer! Don’t go to his bathroom!

"Pay attention to me, Human King!!"

Shit.

Malthus shouted for my attention and his lasers were thicker and hotter than mine and with my attention divided to the people, I lost my focus for a second.

And that...

That I should not have done.

Because Malthus’ lasers...

They pierced my eyes.

This 𝓬ontent is taken from fre𝒆webnove(l).𝐜𝐨𝗺