My Scumbag System-Chapter 397: The Scumbag’s Severance Package

The golden dawn light filtering through the crumbling chamber made Cel’s face look younger. Softer. Like the weight of being Seraphina Vance’s sister had lifted, even if just for a moment.

She touched my chest again, checking my ribs with the kind of clinical detachment I’d expect from a healer, not a princess who’d just kissed me like the world was ending. Which, technically, it had been. Her fingers pressed gently against the regenerator brace still wrapped around my torso.

"Can you walk?" she asked.

"Can I walk? Princess, I just killed a ten-thousand-year-old tree god with a baseball bat. Walking’s easy mode."

Her periwinkle eyes narrowed. "Stop calling me that."

"Which part? Princess or easy mode?"

She punched my shoulder again, lighter this time.

The chamber shook, interrupting our banter. Chunks of crystallized ceiling crashed down around us, exploding into glittering dust on impact. The massive tree at the chamber’s center continued shrinking, its branches withering and falling away like shed skin.

Right. Collapsing death dimension. Probably should move.

I grabbed Cel’s hand and pulled her toward the tunnel we’d entered through. My burns screamed in protest at the contact, but I ignored them. Pain was just another thing trying to slow me down, and I had a personal policy about ignoring inconvenient obstacles.

The tunnel looked different now. The glass walls had transformed into regular stone, the trapped faces gone. Small flowers grew from cracks in the rock, their petals unfurling toward the light filtering down from above.

"They’re free," Cel whispered, her fingers squeezing mine. "All of them."

The climb back up the stone stairs nearly killed me. My legs felt like someone had replaced my muscles with wet noodles. My ribs sent out regular reminders that they’d been cracked by a dimensional horror approximately three days ago. The burns on my arms had gone past painful and straight into that weird numb territory where you know you’re completely screwed but your body’s too tired to care.

Cel wasn’t much better. She leaned heavily against the cliff wall, her breathing ragged and uneven. The white streaks in her hair pulsed with each labored step.

About halfway up, she stumbled.

I caught her before she went down, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Easy. One step at a time."

"I don’t need your help."

"Sure. That’s why you’re currently using me as a human crutch."

She tried to glare but ruined it by swaying dangerously. I tightened my grip.

"Just let me help, Ice Princess. Your pride can murder me later when we’re not about to fall to our deaths."

She sagged against my side. "I hate you."

"Yeah, I’m getting that a lot lately."

We climbed together, taking breaks every twenty steps because my cardiovascular system was currently filing complaints with upper management. During one of these breaks, Cel looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read.

"What you said down there. About me reminding you of someone."

Oh good. The conversation I’d been hoping to avoid.

"Who?" she pressed.

I stared up at the distant light, considering my options. Lie. Deflect. Change the subject to something less emotionally compromising.

Instead, I told the truth. "Myself."

Her eyebrows rose.

"Before I got the System. Before I stopped being a complete disaster. Back when I was just some Zero everyone looked at like I was dog food on their shoe." I shrugged, immediately regretting it when my ribs protested. "You were in a cage. Just a prettier one than mine."

"That’s why you wanted me in Onyx? Because we’re the same?"

"No. I wanted you in Onyx because your sister knows what happened to my dad and you’re my key to getting answers." I met her eyes. "But yeah. You being trapped in someone else’s plan for your life? That part I understood way too well."

Silence stretched between us.

Then Cel smiled. Not the polite, political smile I’d seen her use at the gala. A real one.

"You’re terrible at this."

"At what?"

"Emotional honesty. You keep telling me you’re using me, like you think brutal honesty makes manipulation noble."

I opened my mouth to argue.

"But," she continued, cutting me off. "I appreciate it anyway. At least you’re a terrible person who tells the truth about being terrible."

Fair point.

We reached the top of the stairs as the river chamber collapsed behind us. The black water drained away, revealing smooth stone underneath. The faces in the glass were gone completely.

The tunnel leading back to the surface stretched ahead of us, but it looked shorter now. Less oppressive. The fungus on the walls had transformed into regular moss that gave off a soft, pleasant glow.

My vision flickered.

Blue light exploded across my peripheral vision like someone had just turned on a flashlight directly behind my eyes.

[SYSTEM CONNECTION RESTORED]

Nel’s voice crashed through my consciousness with all the subtlety of a freight train.

Oh thank the Fates, you’re alive! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to be cut off from your only human anchor? I’ve been screaming into the void for hours and the Audience has been absolutely insufferable with their speculation about whether you’d died and if Apollo would need to find a replacement protagonist and—

"Not now," I muttered under my breath.

Cel glanced at me. "What?"

"Nothing. System stuff. Just ignore me."

She gave me a look that suggested she had several follow-up questions about what ’System stuff’ meant, but graciously decided not to ask.

System stuff? Nel’s voice dripped with offense. I’ll have you know that I am a sophisticated metaphysical interface representing the culmination of divine programming across multiple—

I mentally slammed the door on her commentary.

The notifications started flooding in.

[QUEST COMPLETE: THE GARDENER’S END]

[TRIAL BY BLACK GATE: SURVIVED]

[BONUS OBJECTIVE ACHIEVED: FREED THE FIRST TREE]

[BONUS OBJECTIVE ACHIEVED: PRESERVED THE COMPANION]

[CALCULATING REWARDS...]

The golden counter spun up like a slot machine having a seizure.

+800 SP for killing the Arborist.

+500 SP for surviving a Black Gate.

+300 SP for freeing the imprisoned specimens.

+200 SP for protecting Celeste without using her as bait.

1,800 Schema Points total.

My brain stuttered trying to process that number. That was more than I’d earned from the entire Necropolis disaster. Add it to my current balance of 215, and I was sitting on 2,015 SP.

Two thousand points. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺

I could buy abilities that would make me untouchable. Could upgrade my existing skills to Legendary tier. Could pull enough gacha to make Apollo weep with joy.

The Audience is losing their collective minds, Nel chimed in, her voice giddy with excitement. The ratings spiked so hard during the Arborist fight that Apollo actually spit out his ambrosia. And the kiss? Satori, you magnificent disaster, you kissed the President’s sister while covered in blood and third-degree burns. The romance forums are on fire.

Great. My near-death experience was trending.