My Scumbag System-Chapter 403: The Calamity Couple Takes the Stage

The studio lights were hot enough to cook ramen on my face. 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

I sat on what the production assistant had cheerfully called a "love seat," which was really just a fancy term for "a couch designed to make you sit uncomfortably close to another person while millions watched." The leather squeaked every time I shifted, and the audience of about two hundred people packed into the bleachers watched us like we were exotic animals at a zoo.

Cel pressed against my side, her thigh touching mine from hip to knee. The producers had positioned us this way deliberately. I could feel it in the way the cameras angled, the way Sterling Weaver kept glancing at our proximity with that shit-eating grin he probably practiced in the mirror.

My burns had healed enough that I could wear a button-down without wanting to scream, though the skin still felt tight and angry beneath the fabric. The makeup team had covered most of the visible damage, but I’d caught one of them whispering to her colleague about how bad it must have been originally.

Sterling sat across from us in a leather chair that probably cost more than my mom’s rent for six months. He wore a designer suit in charcoal gray that fit him like it was born there, and his salt-and-pepper hair was styled to perfection. The man knew how to work a camera.

"So," Sterling began, his voice carrying that smooth broadcaster quality that made everything sound important and intimate at the same time. "Satori Nakano and Celeste Vance. The Calamity Couple, as the internet’s been calling you."

The audience laughed.

Cel’s hand found mine between us, hidden from the cameras by the angle of our bodies. Her fingers were cold. They always were.

"Before we get into the Black Gate incident," Sterling continued, leaning forward like we were old friends sharing secrets, "I have to ask the question that’s breaking the internet right now. Are you two dating?"

The audience erupted.

Cheers, whistles, a few scattered shouts of encouragement.

I felt Cel’s grip tighten slightly.

Sterling held up his hands, playing to the crowd. "I know, I know. But look at you two. You’re practically sitting in each other’s laps."

"The couch is small," I said. "What do you want me to do, sit on the floor?"

The audience ate it up.

Cel shifted beside me, and I caught the faintest hint of a smile on her face. She’d been nervous about this appearance all week, but now that we were actually here, some of that ice princess composure was settling back into place.

Sterling grinned wider. "Fair point. But you have to admit, the photos from the medical bay tell a different story. Holding hands, Celeste staying at your bedside, the way you two look at each other in that footage."

"She felt guilty," I said, keeping my tone casual. "I got burned pulling her out of a collapsing death dimension. Hand-holding seemed like the least she could do."

Cel spoke up thent. "Satori is being modest. He saved my life multiple times during the incident. My gratitude is considerable."

"Considerable gratitude," Sterling repeated, clearly enjoying himself. "That’s a very diplomatic way of putting it."

The audience laughed again.

I leaned back slightly, letting my arm rest along the couch behind Cel’s shoulders.

"Look," I said, meeting Sterling’s eyes directly. "Cel and I went through hell together. Literally. We fought a cosmic tree god, got chased by fire monsters, and spent what felt like weeks trying not to die. That kind of experience bonds you to someone."

"Bonds you," Sterling echoed. "Interesting choice of words."

"What would you prefer? That I say she’s my best friend forever and we braid each other’s hair?"

The audience roared.

Cel’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. Her periwinkle eyes met mine for a split second, and something warm passed between us that had nothing to do with the cameras or the performance.

Sterling shifted tactics. "Let’s talk about the Black Gate itself. The VHC released a statement saying it was a natural transformation, but a lot of people aren’t buying that explanation. What can you tell us about what you experienced inside?"

I felt Cel tense beside me.

"It was strange," I said carefully. "The environment didn’t match the briefing at all. We expected a standard dungeon layout with predictable spawns. What we got was something entirely different."

"Different how?"

"Plants that talked. Water that showed you memories that weren’t yours. An entire ecosystem that was alive and aware and angry."

Sterling’s expression sharpened. "And the Arborist?"

"Old. Powerful. Lonely, maybe." I paused, choosing my words. "It wanted to preserve things. Keep them perfect forever. We disagreed with that philosophy."

"You disagreed so hard that you killed it."

"Killing things is kind of the job description for Hunters."

The audience clapped.

Cel spoke up again, her voice steady. "The Arborist was not evil in the traditional sense. It was simply ancient and operating under a logic we could not accept. Its garden was beautiful, in a way. But beauty that requires imprisonment is not true beauty at all."

Sterling nodded slowly. "That’s remarkably philosophical for someone who nearly died."

"Nearly dying tends to make one philosophical," Cel replied.

I glanced at her. The studio lights caught the silver in her hair, making it look like starlight. She’d dressed carefully for this appearance, wearing a navy blue dress that was modest but stunning, the kind of thing that made every camera angle look good without trying.

Sterling consulted his notes. "The leaked medical reports suggest you were inside the Gate for seven hours. But testimony from other students indicates you experienced significantly more time than that. Is that accurate?"

"Time worked differently inside," I confirmed. "What felt like days to us was only hours out here."

"Days," Sterling repeated. "Alone together in a hostile dimension with no support, no backup, and no guarantee you’d make it out alive."

The implication hung in the air like smoke.

The audience leaned forward.

"We had each other," Cel said quietly. "That proved sufficient."

Sterling’s grin could have sold used cars. "I bet it did."