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New Times, New Hell-Chapter 98 - APP Upgrade
Chapter 98 - APP Upgrade
Warning: Mention of suicide
“Ga ga ga——”
“I was wrong, Peppa jie. I know I was wrong!”
“Ga ga——”
“Your little dress is super pretty. It’s not unfashionable at all. It’s the prettiest little dress on this planet!! From the bottom of my heart!”
As soon as Zheng Yan walked into Amazing Future, he saw Peppa. She had grown up quite a bit and was wearing a little floral print dress. She was also flapping her wings and chasing down a programmer. That programmer was tall, over 1.8 meters. However, he still ended up being forced to take cover on a chair by Peppa. He held both hands up in the air as he surrendered and begged Peppa for mercy.
Zheng Yan: “……”
As expected from Luofeng’s famous goose princess!
Zheng Yan silently pulled out his phone and filmed this entire scene. Then, he uploaded it to the group chat for product managers in the Internet industry:【Dear god, our company’s Peppa Goose is bullying programmers again.】
The product managers in the group immediately responded.
【Dear god, Luofeng’s employee is posting goose pictures again!】
【More fresh Peppa to look at!!! I’m in love!】
【Goodness, CEO bought Peppa more dresses???】
【Emmmmm??? Are your programmers for real??】
【Speaking of, didn’t someone mock homebodies in the past for having a combat effectiveness of only 0.5 geese? And here I thought that was an exaggerated estimation……How come Amazing Future’s programmers really can’t win against a goose?】
【And it’s still a baby gosling……】
From the beginning, geese had always been famed to have high combat effectiveness. In the past, some families in villages even kept geese to protect their yards. Geese were respectfully called “society geese.” As such, people online often used a single “goose” as a unit of measurement for combat effectiveness. Additionally, they mocked weak, fat homebodies by saying they probably wouldn’t even be able to win against a goose in a fight: they only had a combat effectiveness of “0.5 geese”…… Of course, everyone had always thought that this was only a humorous description.
Unexpectedly, Amazing Future’s programmers were actually being chased around and bullied by a goose!
【I’m lost. So do geese really have very high combat effectiveness or are programmers really that weak?】
【Wake up, you guys. Is this a normal society goose? This is Luofeng’s little princess!】
【Hahahahahaha, karma for programmers! I don’t care, I’m going to make a post!】
Zheng Yan unintentionally ruined the reputation of all programmers. His mood instantly got much better.
After all, product managers and programmers were sworn enemies!
Zheng Yan finished reading everyone’s criticisms of programmers before carrying his laptop over to find Yu Zhengdu. “Leader, I need to ask you about something.”
Yu Zhengdu turned around to look at him. “What’s wrong?”
Zheng Yan set his laptop down on Yu Zhengdu’s desk. His expression was very conflicted. Following a short pause, he finally said, “Last night, someone from a publishing firm contacted me saying that he wanted to buy our story’s copyright……”
“Story’s copyright?” Yu Zhengdu was bewildered. “What story’s copyright do we have?”
“Emm——” Zheng Yan’s eyes darted around. He felt guilty. “……A ghost story.”
Yu Zhengdu felt even more confused. “Which ghost?”
Zheng Yan silently turned his laptop screen over so that Yu Zhengdu would be able to see. “A while ago, I uploaded some story updates from the Fengdu Forum onto a forum in the mortal realm. A publishing firm became interested……”
Yu Zhengdu: ??
He glanced at the laptop screen. On it was the webpage of a famous gossip forum. Zheng Yan had opened up one of the popular posts on it.
Heading: There Are No Hotels in the Netherworld——Records of My Journey Through the Underworld
Yu Zhengdu: “……”
He naturally recognized this heading. Previously, after the Life Management app has been released, quite a lot of Underworld users had commented, saying that they hoped Luofeng could develop a socializing app to help the deceased reestablish their social networks after death. This had also already been on Luofeng’s to-do list.
After strict planning and development, a while ago, the Life Management app finally released a brand new updated version. This version now had the two functions of【Ghost Friend Circle】and【Fengdu Forum】.
Among these,【Ghost Friend Circle】had the same functions as the mortal realm’s WeChat. It could help Underworld spirits contact their friends from when they had still been alive. This way, they would be able to reestablish their social networks.
Before this, due to the fact that each person passed away and reincarnated at different times, people who had died often couldn’t manage to get in contact with other people who had died at other times. Additionally, there was usually quite a long period of time where one awaited reincarnation. Because of this, sometimes, lonely ghosts would become dangerous and end up as threats to Underworld society.
Since the release of this function, those Underworld spirits waiting for reincarnation would receive notifications as soon as one of their friends or relatives in the mortal realm passed away. They could choose whether or not they wanted to contact that individual or add them to their friends list. This effectively helped everyone reunite in the Underworld.
The emotional needs of Underworld spirits became satisfied. During this period of time, maintaining order in the Underworld had obviously become much easier. Luofeng’s work rate had also evidently increased.
The other function of the app,【Fengdu Forum】, was also quite similar to public social media in the mortal realm. It provided options for Underworld spirits to share information, ask for help, share experience, share opinions, etc.
After this function became released, it received numerous positive reviews. All Underworld spirits were being ghosts for the first time, especially the new ghosts who had just passed away. They were oftentimes very unused to their new identities. The forum’s “ask for help” and “share information” options very effectively resolved this problem.
Shortly after【Fengdu Forum】became released, enormous amounts of quality posts appeared. For example:
Heading: How to Be a Ghost——Accepting Burial Offerings, Things to Know About Reincarnation, Guide to Getting Hired in the Underworld, Intro to Underworld Activities, Etc.
Heading: Intro to the New Hell——The Collapse of Heaven and Hell, Why Hell’s Offices Are Located in the Mortal Realm, Luofeng’s Development, Underworld Society Regulations, Etc.
Heading: Complete Skill Training for All New Ghosts: How to give people dreams, how to quickly and effectively remove your eyeballs, how to pass through walls, how to avoid becoming an evil ghost, etc.
Heading: Remaining Dead Till Old Age, Learning Till Old Age: Compilation of little tricks involved in being a ghost (continuously updating)
There were also a lot of popular gossip posts:
Heading: Motherfucking Hell, I Just Died, Only to Discover That the Ashes of Love Between My Husband Who Died Ten Years Before Me And His First Girlfriend Have Reignited (They’re Fucking Real Ashes)
Heading: So Happy I’m Crying! I Just Found Out My Ex-Boyfriend Who Always Hired Prostitutes When He Was Alive is Going to Be a Chicken in His Next Life!!
Heading: Help! My Grave Got Dug Up By Property Developers, is it Illegal For Me to Haunt the Developers’ Homes?
Heading: Examining the Strangely Self-Confident Drowned Ghost Who Lives Next to My Cinerary Urn
Heading: If I Say This Out Loud, You All Might Not Believe Me, But I’m a Ghost With a Cat
And there were posts from famous ghosts:
Heading: Becoming A Refined Female Ghost; Even in Death, We Still Have to Have Beautiful Makeup (Author is a Painted Skin Ghost)
Heading: Reviews of Various Toilets in Fu City (Author is a Guilong)
Heading: I Really Don’t Know How to Make Thunder, the Wind and Rain Are a Package Deal (Author is a Dao Lao Ghost)
The post that Zheng Yan had reposted to a mortal forum,《There Are No Hotels in the Netherworld》, had been written by a ghost who loved travelling. While alive, this ghost had been a travel blogger. After his death, he had kept his hobby from life and updated his travel journal on the forum while travelling.
This post recorded several locations that only ghosts could visit. For example, desolate cemeteries, the black underground river, the paper bridge of the Underworld, etc. He also shared the varying funeral customs, burial goods, and Underworld transportation methods of different places.
However, the most interesting part for readers was reading about the author’s experiences interacting with different ghosts in different places. Not only did the author expertly describe the ways of life for ghosts who had died in different ways, he also gave in-depth backstories for each of these ghosts. This included but wasn’t limited to hangman ghosts who had died for love, completely formless car accident ghosts, murder victim ghosts who only desired revenge, etc.
Due to the fact that many people only realized what those around them were truly like after their deaths, and because they would often discover many truths that they hadn’t known when alive, these ghosts’ stories were often more absurd and memorable. They captivated readers greatly.
This post was extremely popular on the Fengdu Forum. Quite a lot of Underworld spirits awaited its updates every day. It was practically considered a written documentary of the Underworld.
Yu Zhengdu had also spent a period of time waiting for these updates. However, because he had gotten too busy with work later on, he had given up. He hadn’t thought that Zheng Yan would upload these posts to a forum in the mortal realm.
“This post is too horrifying……” Zheng Yan was on the brink of sobbing. “I just thought ‘I can’t die from fright alone,’ which is why I uploaded it onto this gossip forum. I wanted to scare some other people……”
He added on in emphasis, “I deleted any content that could’ve exposed the secrets of the Underworld. This is the harmless, clean version.”
Yu Zhengdu was practically speechless: “……You clearly could’ve chosen not to read it.”
Zheng Yan: “But it’s really very good. Did you know? The author posted a story about a ghost who jumped out of a building last week. Wow, it turns out that the heads of those ghosts really do tend to stick to the ground. Honestly so fucking scary……”
As if to prove that he was telling the truth, Zheng Yan scrolled down the post that he had made on the mortal forum and stopped at the latest update. He insistently recommended to Yu Zhengdu, “Look. Super exhilarating.”
Yu Zhengdu: “……”
Forced to accept this recommendation.
Heading: There Are No Hotels in the Netherworld——Records of My Journey Through the Underworld
Floor 88896: ……The jumper ghost was very welcoming and friendly. He personally led me on a tour of the local attractions. The only downside was that he oftentimes couldn’t prevent himself from using his head to walk. This always produced numerous thump thump thump thumps. This looked a bit terrifying——Fortunately, I’m not a human, so wasn’t too scared.
During our tour, the jumper ghost relayed to me a small mistake he had made during his time as a ghost. That night, he had attended the mourning reception of one of his recently deceased friends. He got extremely drunk and, while bleary, didn’t return to his own grave. Instead, he returned to the place he had lived when still alive.
When alive, the jumper ghost had been scammed by a friend until he had gone broke. In a fit of complete hopelessness, he jumped off of his building. Perhaps because of some sort of fate, the night he returned to his old home, he coincidentally encountered his scammer friend; the other was back to find the jumper ghost’s financial documents.
After death, the matters of the mortal realm all become irrelevant. The jumper ghost originally didn’t want to interact with that person. Unexpectedly, though, when he had left his friend’s mourning reception, he had accidentally stepped on a yellow talisman—— As everyone knows, stepping on a yellow talisman creates the possibility for a ghost to manifest in the mortal realm.
That night, the jumper ghost had drunk alcohol. While of unclear mind, he slightly manifested. His friend had already felt guilty, thus naturally became absolutely terrified. In a panic, he hid under the table, figuring that ghosts didn’t know how to bend over (I don’t know where this rumor originated from either. When I have the time, I will look into it). As such, he believed that the jumper ghost wouldn’t be able to see him.
The jumper ghost didn’t actually want to see him either. Only, he was completely drunk. As he lost control, his head landed on the ground again, rendering him in the same posture that he had been in after jumping out of the building——Unfortunately, he came face to face with the friend hiding under the table. His face was covered in blood, which terrified his friend so much that he had a heart attack. Then, he ended up staying in the hospital for more than half a year.
Floor 88897: Fuck, I just imagined that scene in my head. I burst into tears from fear.
Floor 88898: Building owner please continue. Also, is there a follow-up for the story about the car accident ghost from last time?
Floor 88899: Shit, I’ll never dare to hide under tables again.
Floor 88900: Building owner is really creative. Where did you get all these unique ideas from?!
Floor: 88901: I adore building owner’s style of writing about bullshit in a serious manner.
Floor 88902: This must be the supposed “if you don’t do bad things normally, you won’t fear ghosts knocking on your door in the middle of the night.”
Yu Zhengdu glanced at the page count for the post while reading it. He immediately became shocked. “……It’s so popular?”
This post had actually almost reached a hundred thousand replies.
Zheng Yan held his hands out. “Netizens have much better tolerance than I thought.”
Yu Zhengdu: “……Mainly because your tolerance is too poor, right?”
Zheng Yan pretended that he hadn’t heard anything. He replied, “I hadn’t expected that the netizens would like this post so much either. I think a lot of other forums have reposted it too……”
Speaking of this, he really felt like sighing. Initially, he had honestly only wanted to scare the netizens. Unexpectedly, netizens had such great curiosity. The post got more and more popular. Everyday, people incessantly begged him to continue updating.
The publishing firm who had asked them for a collaboration this time wasn’t the first one to do so. However, it was the one that had offered the sincerest price. Zheng Yan also knew that these days, all the Underworld ghosts were trying to generate income. If this story could really become published, perhaps it could give the true travel blogger some money. Because of this, after careful consideration, he ultimately decided to discuss this matter with Yu Zhengdu.
Yu Zhengdu’s opinion was largely the same as Zheng Yan’s. However, he needed to consider a few more things than Zheng Yan needed to——If stories from the Underworld could be published in the mortal realm, they wouldn’t only earn copyright fees. They could also bear some of the responsibility for maintaining balance between the mortal realm and Underworld. As long as the content that could possibly expose the secret of the Underworld got deleted, the other parts could actually serve as a warning for the mortal realm.
Since historical times, ghost stories had all used ghosts to satirize humans. As of now, this was still applicable.
Yu Zhengdu very quickly discussed and confirmed with Shang Que. Thereafter, Luofeng’s employees got in contact with the original author. After explaining the events that had occurred, the original author was also very happy that his journey records were so well welcomed in the mortal realm too. Soon after, he agreed to sell the copyright. Of course, due to an obvious reason, the mortal realm’s copyright could only be assigned to Luofeng. Luofeng would then pay the original author through agency shares.
Posts from the Underworld would soon be published in the mortal realm. As soon as the news about the author successfully earning money from the mortal realm became spread, this fueled an unprecedented passion for creation among the Underworld spirits. After, there were also a lot of other compositions regarding different topics that managed to become edited and published. And, after these ghosts headed off to reincarnation, the copyright license officially became solely owned by Luofeng. But we won’t go into further detail about that.
During this period of time, Zhao Ruola submitted a request to the company for a rather long period of time off. She wanted to go back and accompany her mother during her final moments.
Zhao Ruola’s father had already passed away a few years ago. Her mother’s health wasn’t so great. She had chosen to return to her country while in the middle of a successful career partially because she wanted to accompany her mother.
Yu Zhengdu and Shang Que both knew about this. As such, Shang Que very quickly approved her request. Additionally, he told her that if she needed to, she could unconditionally extend her vacation. Yu Zhengdu would temporarily take over her work responsibilities.
However, before Yu Zhengdu could take care of these responsibilities for too long, he received a message from Jiao Shanlan saying that Zhao Ruola’s mother was in a very bad state. The hospital had already notified her that her mother was likely going to die within the next few days.
When Yu Zhengdu received this news, he was in a very sorrowful mood. In the end, after getting Zhao Ruola’s permission, he and Shang Que headed to the hospital to visit Zhao Ruola and her mother.
As expected, Zhao Ruola’s mother was already very frail. There were tubes in her nose. She was fast asleep.
Zhao Ruola stayed next to her bed, expression ghastly pale.
“Erica, life and death are fated. Don’t worry too much,” Yu Zhengdu comforted.
Zhao Ruola sighed gently. “After working at Luofeng for so long, I obviously know that. You guys don’t need to worry about me.”
She was saying this, but two uncontrollable teardrops still leaked out from the corners of her eyes. She covered her face with her hands and her voice started choking up too. “Only, only……”
Zhao Ruola had always been strong, even more so in the workplace. This was her first time revealing her weaknesses to others.
Yu Zhengdu patted her on the shoulder.“ I understand.”
He said in a somewhat self-deprecating manner, “Though we work for Hell, we can still only watch as our relatives pass away. Death is probably the fairest thing in this world.”
“Actually, when my mother was critically ill, I once had the urge to check the Life and Death Accounts……” Zhao Ruola suddenly admitted.
Yu Zhengdu and Shang Que looked at her. In understanding, Yu Zhengdu said, “But you didn’t.”
Zhao Ruola’s smile was very reluctant. “I’m a technician. This is a part of our basic work ethic.”
Life and death were the fairest things in this world. Luofeng’s technology was designed to maintain this fairness. The living couldn’t peak at the fates of themselves or others. Even though she was facing her own mother, Zhao Ruola still chose to stand by her own ethics.
Yu Zhengdu lamented to himself in his heart. Only someone as principled as Zhao Ruola could become Luofeng’s technical director.
Of course, it was also fortunate that she had stood by her principles and not checked. It was technologically possible to look at fate, but the actual process would bring grave danger to the person doing it.
Shang Que stood off to the side, expressionless. He didn’t view life and death in the same way humans did. He was always rather nonchalant about these matters. Upon hearing this, he suddenly said, “The living always place too much importance on life.”
Zhao Ruola looked up at him.
Yu Zhengdu softly coughed and glared at Shang Que. Shang Que continued, “But that’s not bad at all. Human emotions are very strange. Perhaps that is the reason they feel that life is too short.”
As they were speaking, Zhao Ruola’s mother woke up. In a daze, she reached her hand toward the edge of the bed. “Ruoruo……Ruoruo……”
Her voice was very faint, like she was on her last breath.
Zhao Ruola immediately grabbed onto her hand and listened to her stumble out some last minute reminders.
“Is this your boss and coworker?” Mother Zhao’s turbid eyes focused on Shang Que and Yu Zhengdu with great difficulty. “I’ll have to ask you guys……I’ll have to ask you guys to help take care of Ruola……”
“She’s always been independent……She never lets me worry……B-but, how could I not worry……”
Yu Zhengdu nodded solemnly. “Auntie, don’t worry.”
Zhao Ruola revealed a sad smile. “Mom, I’ll take good care of myself.”
“You ah……” Mother Zhao did her best to reach up and caress the other’s face. In the end, she couldn’t muster up the strength to do so. “Mom is leaving now. Don’t be sad.”
“I won’t be sad.” Tears streamed down Zhao Ruola’s face. “Don’t worry.”
“Ey……” Mother Zhao heaved out a long sigh and slowly closed her eyes.
Very quickly, the doctors and nurses rushed in. The doctor checked Mother Zhao’s conditions and told Zhao Ruola, “Miss Zhao, my condolences.”
Zhao Ruola nodded, then buried her face in her hands.
Yu Zhengdu felt a bit uncomfortable in his heart too. He wanted to go comfort her, but also didn’t know what to say.
He glanced at Shang Que, bewildered. Shang Que held onto his hand and gently patted the back of it.
Just as they were grieving, a cheery voice suddenly sounded out in the sick room. “Aiya, old man, it’s really you?”
It was Mother Zhao’s voice.
Yu Zhengdu was shocked. He looked up, only to see Zhao Ruola abruptly lift her head too.
The sick bed was surrounded by busy hospital workers. Mother Zhao’s body was peacefully laying on the bed. She had already stopped breathing.
Meanwhile, in the sick room, an old lady’s spirit was holding a phone and happily making a phone call. “So technology in the Underworld has already become so advanced?”
“What’s the ghost friend circle?……Just a normal friend circle? Then I’ll immediately download it.”
“……There are even death notifications? Doesn’t that mean that the news that I’ve passed away has already been received by my old friends?”
“That’s great! It’s been several years since I’ve gone public square dancing. Now we can schedule a group event.”
“Ey, I just died. There’s still so much I don’t understand……Okay, then hurry and come pick me up. I’m at the People’s Hospital. I’ll go wait for you at the hospital entrance.”
Zhao Ruola watched, stunned, as her mother’s spirit happily chatted on the phone. She opened her mouth, but ultimately couldn’t say anything.
A while later, Mother Zhao finally recalled something. She turned around and looked at Zhao Ruola.
Zhao Ruola hurriedly buried her face in her palms again, pretending like she hadn’t noticed anything at all.
“Old man, our daughter is here as well. Do you want to come see her too?” Mother Zhao asked. The answer from the other side couldn’t be heard. She slowly lowered her phone and revealed a relieved smile. “Ruoruo ah, you need to live well.”
After saying this, she carried her phone and walked out of the sick room.
Even from a distance, the sounds of her calling her old friends could be heard. “Yes yes yes, I just died. Let’s go dancing together?”
“Old Zhang already reincarnated? What a pity. We didn’t get to see each other one last time……”
Mother Zhao’s voice slowly drifted away, leaving the two stunned Luofeng employees in the sick room.
Shang Que nodded. “I forgot that you guys can see ghosts.”
Zhao Ruola: = =
Yu Zhengdu: = =
“Sorry, I’m here late.” Jiao Shanlan ran in panting. He glanced at the sick bed and solemnly comforted Zhao Ruola, “Erica, the dead cannot come back to life. Don’t be too sad.”
Zhao Ruola slowly sighed. “Right now, I’m not sad at all……” Truly.
Jiao Shanlan: ???
The author has something to say:
lan: I honestly hadn’t expected that Erica would be so cold-hearted!