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President, Our Egg Is Lost-Chapter Fifty-Six: What a development! This time is really quite the development!
Chapter Fifty-Six: What a development! This time is really quite the development!
Early in the morning, Ji XiaoYu was dead asleep, but he was suddenly awakened by the feeling of someone kissing himself, from his forehead to his eyebrows to his eyelids, from his nose to his mouth, just like washing his face, every single place all over.
He didn’t want to be disturbed. He reached out a hand and waved it around, trying to push that annoying guy aside. He didn’t expect that his left hand would be caught. After it was fiddled with for a while, one finger was lifted and then bitten lightly.
Oh no, isn’t this being snacked on like a pickled chicken foot?
Invigorated, he opened his heavy eyelids and vaguely looked at the man with whom he couldn’t be more familiar, who was putting something on his finger.
Ji XiaoYu immediately felt at ease, it’s not snacking on a pickled chicken foot, so he closed his eyes and slept through whatever it was. He didn’t hear whatever the man said to him, just hummed a few perfunctory “mhm”.
At noon, Ji XiaoYu’s nose was pecked several times and he heard a flurry of chirping in his ear, which finally woke him up. His son was calling to him.
He opened his eyes again and, sure enough, Cheng PaoPao on the side of the pillow looking back at him.
Ji XiaoYu grinned so wide his eyes squinted, grabbing the chick and pursing his lips to give him a big kiss, “My child, morning.”
Cheng PaoPao seemed a little unhappy, struggling to escape from his hands, and then he gave a short cry, “Cheep”
“What’s the matter?” Ji XiaoYu said, a little puzzled, “Oh, is PaoPao hungry?”
Cheng PaoPao waved his little wings.
Seems to be it. Because of your father, I’m hungry too. Ji XiaoYu laughed ‘heh heh’, scratched his messy hair and started to get out of bed.
As he raised his hand to his head, he felt like something heavy was weighing his hand down. Ji XiaoYu looked down at it and was suddenly startled, his eyes almost popping out of his head.
On the ring finger of his left hand, he was wearing a ring, one with a shiny, large glass ball embedded in it about the size of Xiao DengPao. Overall, it was nearly spherical in shape, but countless small facades were cut out across the surface, so that colorful light was reflected with a mere movement. It was very beautiful, similar to the scenes from when Xiao DengPao had shone in the past.
T-this is the “Xiao DengPao” that my child’s father gave to me?
Ji XiaoYu was stunned for five seconds before he screamed, scaring Cheng PaoPao so that he almost plunged off the bed from the pillow.
He hurriedly fished his son back to put him on the bed, then he stared at the Xiao DengPao on his finger without blinking. Is this real or fake? Even if it’s fake, how much is it worth?
He had seen on TV that a large diamond the size of a fingernail, called a “pigeon egg”, couldn’t be purchased without hundreds of thousands of yuan. Then this one……?
Ji XiaoYu’s hands trembled uncontrollably. He wanted to give it a bite to see if it was real or fake, but he was afraid of breaking his teeth.
It has to be real, right? If it’s fake, that would be so lame, and messing around with me like that would be absolutely unforgivable!
But, why did Cheng YuTang suddenly give him this gift?
Speaking of, where was his child’s father?
Thinking of the man, Ji XiaoYu was gently reminded of what had happened the previous night. All of a sudden, he blushed, he couldn’t help but roll himself up in the quilt.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, last night really really……felt good!
He had never known that dual cultivation could feel so good, better than a good night’s rest or even a huge meal. This kind of feeling couldn’t even be described, that is, he felt incredibly happy, both physically and mentally; he would have happily died, but he hadn’t died. He had floated freely in the sky, like he had ascended to become an immortal, shedding his spiritual beast shell – oh, right, that was the phrase, to! ascend! to! the! heavens!
If he had known, what the hell would he have hid for? He would have grabbed his child’s father and dual cultivated with him every day. What a waste of so many great opportunities!
Last night, he and Cheng YuTang had cultivated who knew how many times, until, in the middle of the night, when he couldn’t come anymore because he was so exhausted. He couldn’t even more his little finger, so he just fell asleep. Now he had woken up and felt like his body was full of vitality. His back pain, leg cramps, whatever, had all disappeared. It seemed like he had even more energy than before the dual cultivation. If not for his child’s father being in front of him right now, he might have grabbed someone to fight for 300 rounds.
Ji XiaoYu recollected all this and couldn’t stop laughing to himself ‘heehee’.
Cheng PaoPao seemed to have no idea that his dad was wearing a lewd, wild expression and he called out at him angrily, “Cheep!”
“Oooh~ PaoPao is hungry, isn’t he? Daddy is going to get you food right away!” Ji XiaoYu recovered his sanity, lifting the quilt so he could get up.
He was naked from head to toe and the love bites that had originally covered his body when he fell asleep had basically disappeared by now. There was only a faint trace of their marks on his chest and waist.
Thinking of how these marks were left behind, Ji XiaoYu couldn’t help but sway a little and he almost tripped over himself as he got out of bed.
After snapping out of his daze, he found a set of clothes on the bedside table, both inner and outer pieces. He took it and, while putting it on, found that the Xiao DengPao on his finger was really in the way. It wasn’t convenient to do anything with it on, so, although he was very reluctant, he took the ring off and put it in his pocket.
After washing up into the bathroom, Ji XiaoYu went downstairs with Cheng PaoPao.
The whole villa was quiet, Cheng YuTang was obviously not at home.
Strange, where’d you go? This won’t be like a scene in a dogblood drama, with abandonment after a one night stand, right?
Ji XiaoYu thought about these irrelevant things and then saw a number of dishes and bowls on the table, all covered with lids. There was also a sticky note on the base of a candlestick. He took a look and found several beautiful lines of writing: “Baby, lunch for you and PaoPao has been made, reheat it yourself in the microwave and be careful not to burn it. If you don’t feel well, please call me at any time. Watch a movie if you’re bored and have a good rest at home. I went to the company and I’ll try to come back early. Kisses for you both.”
“So naggy,” Ji XiaoYu muttered as he smiled so wide his eyes disappeared. He couldn’t help but press a kiss to the sticky note.
Then he heard a rustling sound and bent his head to look. Cheng PaoPao was using his beak to press on the lid on the babao tray, but he was too weak to move the lid. He was so anxious as he turned around.
He smiled and opened the lid. Cheng PaoPao immediately plunged into the pile of grass seeds, eating happily.
Ji XiaoYu immediately took his food to the microwave and heated it up, then he had a big meal with his son.
Not even a moment after eating, Cheng PaoPao pooped again. However, this time he didn’t dirty his own bowl, but very unscrupulously pooped on Ji XiaoYu’s now-empty plate.
Ji XiaoYu: “……”
What a headache. It seemed to be as Grandpa Hou had said, raising a child was not an easy task.
He cleaned away the poop on the plate and stuffed the rest of the dishes into the dishwasher. After, Ji XiaoYu and his son strolled through the house for a while to encourage digestion and then went to the projection room on the second floor. There were a dozens of discs in the box on the table, Spider-Man, Batman, Iron Man, whatever. He had everything.
He just picked one at random and put it in. It turned out after barely ten minutes, he got bored. He’d wait for his child’s father to come back to sit on his human couch and watch it together with him, heehee.
The villa was really empty inside, it was really hard to play around. Ji XiaoYu took Cheng PaoPao off his head and carefully put him into his coat pocket. Just like carrying the little white egg previously, he gently patted his pocket and said, “PaoPao, Daddy wants to take you out of the house, you have to stay in there and not move or bad guys will catch you when they find out.”
From his pocket, Cheng PaoPao screamed out “Cheep!” and then he was obediently nestled down and didn’t move.
Ji XiaoYu went to the door and grabbed a bunch of keys and then went out to the garage.
His company car wasn’t here; there was just a row of expensive, luxury cars. Ji XiaoYu made himself choose a car that looked less ostentatious and drove away from the villa community.
It was boring to stay at home, so he would go to the company to work too, and he would pick up his child’s father after work.
Although the relationship between the two was different now, he was Cheng Zong’s personal bodyguard and driver and that identity wouldn’t change for the rest of his life.
……
Cheng YuTang had just finished a meeting in the conference room and he was currently surrounded by a group of senior executives. He was in the middle of listening to them when he suddenly heard someone call out to him, “Cheng Zong!”
As soon as he turned his head, his originally calm, cool expression was replaced with obvious surprise and joy, and a little bit of worry. He briskly stepped forward, “Baby, what are you doing here? PaoPao?”
“I came to work,” Ji XiaoYu answered matter-of-factly. He winked at him mysteriously, “I’m carrying him, it’s okay.”
The senior executives: “???”
Cheng YuTang was slightly relieved. He took his hand casually and then gently scolded him, “Why aren’t you resting at home on such a cold day? Aren’t you tired?”
Last night, he had “dual cultivated” to the end, until the little thing was muttering and couldn’t move and then fell asleep without waiting for him to finish coming, which had made Cheng YuTang want to both laugh and cry. When he left in the morning, he hadn’t had much peace of mind. He was afraid that the little thing would have a headache or fever and feel unwell. Because the two of them lost control last night, they went a little too far and the stuff left in his body hadn’t been completely cleaned out. He had thought he would rest at home for a day. He hadn’t expected him to run out like this.
Noticing that the gazes of the HongSheng senior executives were running over them, Ji XiaoYu got embarrassed and replied energetically, “Cheng Zong isn’t tired, I’m not tired either!”
Cheng YuTang looked at how he was blushing bright red, showing he was in good condition. It was as if he hadn’t spent all night toiling away. He couldn’t stop how his lips quirked up. “Alright, you come in and wait awhile, I’ll get off work soon.”
With that, he took the man into his office, leaving everyone else behind him.
The senior executives: “……”
As soon as he entered the door, Cheng YuTang pressed the man against the door frame and kissed him. Surprised, Ji XiaoYu went along with him and wrapped his arms around his neck as he responded enthusiastically.
Although they had just been apart for half a day, the two acted as if they’d been dehydrated for days, greedily craving each other’s hugs and kisses.
When they were in full swing, a few cries of “cheep cheep” came from Ji XiaoYu’s stuffed pocket, which pulled back the two men’s sanity.
Ji XiaoYu released the other man and guiltily pulled from his pocket the little chick who had squeezed his head out. He said with a fawning expression, “PaoPao, look, I brought you here to find Father.”
Cheng PaoPao, with his feathers puffed out in indignation, said, “Cheep!”
Cheng YuTang smiled and took the chick. He gently pet him and said softly, “Obedient PaoPao.”
Cheng PaoPao really was obedient and he gently pecked his hand.
Ji XiaoYu watched and felt what could only be called ‘envious dissatisfaction’.
Cheng YuTang gave Cheng PaoPao back to him and said, “You and PaoPao go play in the longue for a bit. Give me ten minutes.”
So, Ji XiaoYu went into the lounge with his son, turning on the TV and found a channel with cartoons. Then he opened a bag of potato chips and sat on the couch, watching and eating.
Cheng PaoPao watched with greedy eyes, then jumped off his head. He took potato chip from the bag, dropped it on the couch, and bowed his head to peck.
Ji XiaoYu worried that he would get diarrhea because he couldn’t digest potato chips, so he quickly picked up the potato chip and threw it in his mouth. He chewed and said vaguely, “PaoPao, you’re still little, you can’t eat junk food like this. Wait to eat it when you grow up.”
Cheng PaoPao didn’t agree, stretching his little head out to drill into the chip bag. Ji XiaoYu didn’t want to give him any, lifting the bag in the air and harshly saying, “If you can jump this high, Daddy will give it to you.”
Cheng PaoPao could only jump up with his newborn strength, so he only went up a little bit each time.
Cheng YuTang had quickly completed the work at hand and gone to the entrance of the lounge. When he saw this scene, he couldn’t help but laugh and shook his head. Then they said, “Babies, let’s go home.”
Ji XiaoYu cheered and dropped the bag, then he jumped off the sofa. Cheng PaoPao also ignored the potato chips that were suddenly available, flapping his little wings and running to his father.
Cheng YuTang put Cheng PaoPao into his coat pocket, then led Ji XiaoYu from the office by the hand. After a few steps, they entered an area where all the employees had put on the appearance of working diligently, but were actually all perking their ears up for gossip. He said, “Let me introduce you. From today on, Ji XiaoYu has been promoted to the position of my gay spouse, the tenure is his lifetime. We as a married couple together wish you a happy Spring Festival and a blessed household.”
After saying that, he calmly pulled his red-faced little spouse away from the office area and went home.
After they got in the car, the blush on Ji XiaoYu’s face receded a bit. He complained while driving, “My child’s father, without even informing me, how could you suddenly give me a promotion?”
Moreover, it was an outrageous position as unheard of as “Gay Spouse”. He hadn’t even been mentally prepared for it and he had almost lost face by dancing from joy in the public eye.
Cheng YuTang said willfully, “What, don’t you like it? If you take the promotion to this position, your salary will go up. All my assets will be shared with you, so half the money I make will go to you. What do you think?”
Ji XiaoYu held his breath as he listened to this, then he asked with a trembling voice, “S-so how much money do you have right now?”
Cheng YuTang thought about it and gave a rough estimate.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, what a development! What a development! This time is really quite the development!
Fireworks flashed in glittering gold before Ji XiaoYu’s eyes, his hands shook, and he almost drove the car into a ditch. Fortunately, Cheng YuTang, who had been mentally prepared in advance, grabbed the steering wheel in time and the family of three didn’t become a tragedy heading off to the hospital together.
It was hard to keep them safe until they got home, because Ji XiaoYu didn’t have time to catch his breath. There, Cheng YuTang dragged a huge suitcase out from behind the living room sofa, looking like he was about to go travel again.
Ji XiaoYu would have been happy, but instead his heart sank. “My child’s father, are you going home for the New Year?”
Cheng YuTang nodded, “Yes.”
Although Ji XiaoYu had prepared himself mentally, he was still very reluctant now that this moment had come. He asked, dispirited, “When will you come back?”
Cheng YuTang was uncertain as he answered, “Maybe less than a week, maybe more than half a month, have to see what the situation at home is.”
Ji XiaoYu cried out “oh” and forced himself to endure. He couldn’t help but remind him, “You have to behave yourself when you get there. Don’t see anyone you shouldn’t be seeing, don’t mess with things that you shouldn’t be messing with.”
“I can’t promise you that.” Cheng YuTang raised an eyebrow. When he saw the corners of the little thing’s mouth drooping down, with his cheeks puffed out in a pout, he smiled and added, “If you don’t trust me, bring PaoPao with you to come supervise me.”
“Cheep!” Cheng PaoPao heard his name and responded loudly in excitement from his pocket.
Ji XiaoYu blinked and widened his eyes, saying, “I can?”
“What do you say, my gay spouse?” Cheng YuTang didn’t answer the question, “My parents can’t wait to meet their daughter-in-law – and maybe their grandson?”
“Th-then I’m going!” Ji XiaoYu was both excited and nervous, not even willing to pay attention to the man’s teasing. “But what am I supposed to say when I see your parents?”
“Let’s think about it on the plane.” Cheng YuTang smiled and pulled him along, dragging the suitcase out the door.
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The translator has something to say:
TangTang: Heh heh, he’ll have to wear the ring as our cover-story with Captain Yang. ƒ𝚛𝐞𝚎𝑤𝘦𝚋𝓷o𝚟e𝘭.c𝐨𝙢
Xiao Ji: Excuse me, are you happy I have to wear this heavy thing?
TangTang: ……. You’re so strong, it must weigh nothing to you, baby.
Xiao Ji: Well, I am the strongest pheasant in the world!
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Footnotes:
1. 欲仙欲死: idiom – I changed the meaning a bit to fit the paragraph, but this means, to be in seventh heaven, to die a little death (literally, to desire immortality, to desire death)
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time to meet the parents!!!