Remember Self-Control: Bossy Husband Loves Me Deep to Soul-Chapter 11: She Knows She Will Never Have Him.

Proofread by He Li

In this world, life is full of unpleasant things. Compared with loving someone, there must be something else worth her effort.

Having no idea that how long she has cried silently, Si Wan wears herself out. Looking at the ceiling, her eyes feel so sore that she couldn't keep them open anymore, so she slowly falls asleep.

But even in dream Si Wan can't feel at ease. The fact that Feng Ling lies on the bed limply when she is in her most beautiful age has become a big nightmare that Si Wan can't get rid of throughout her whole life.

Because of insufficient sleep, in the morning when Si Wan stands in front of the mirror, with eyes red and swollen, she looks quite different from that capable and experienced director in the company before. However, life still goes on.

Si Wan, it will be over soon. When the day comes, you can do whatever you like.

Thinking of the end, her heart feels like being slashed by thousands of knives, so painfully that she even couldn't take a breath. Can she really give up? The answer "yes" or "no won't be decided by her, either.

Gong Siming only hates her and never loves her, so staying here will just lead to his deeper hate.

Si Wan shakes her head to drive out these agonies. Waking herself up with cold water, Si Wan then uses make-up to cover herself with a delicate mask.

When walking outside, she has to be strong and invulnerable as nobody will show their sympathy. Making yourself stronger is necessary.

After entering the company, Si Wan sees piles of documents stacked on her desk. It's good to be busy as it can help her forget many other things.

The first document is the contract with Manager Zhang last time. As Si Wan was drunk and brought back by Gong Siming unexpectedly that night, and also due to the following family dinner, this contract is consequently postponed.

Because of getting drunk, Si Wan didn't remember what happened that night, and Manager Zhang has not contacted her since then. She has put a lot of effort into the corporation, so it definitely cannot be abandoned halfway.

"Manager Zhang, long time no see. Last time we still didn't work out a perfect solution to our joint project, I hope that we can negotiate it again when you are available."

Si Wan gives Manager Zhang a call without knowing that when picking up her phone, Manager Zhang still feels aching over the body part beaten by Gong Siming.

"Director Si, we're not worthy. We are just a little company, not daring to embrace such a strong partner like the Gongshi Group. Humph…" Manager Zhang gives an ironic snort as he still remembers the humiliation of that night.

"Why does Manager Zhang think that way? Manager Zhang, we pursue win-win corporation, don't we?" Manager Zhang used to be very polite to Si Wan, but now he's like another man totally.

Did something really happen that night? Recollecting carefully, Si Wan realizes that her memory stops at the scene about the mirror in the restroom and the disgusting smell of alcohol which drives her to take a bath.

Silent for a while, Si Wan says calmly, "Manager Zhang, I have offered you a good chance to consider, and I believe that you know clearly the benefit relationship. It is the wisest choice to corporate with the Gongshi Group."

The Gongshi Group is a company that all businessmen rush to cooperate with; even if the profit is not the most maximized for now, the long-term cooperation will bring the maximum profits to them.

Therefore, it is not necessary for the Gongshi Group to cooperate with Manager Zhang. However, because the company can gain more profits from him, plus that the project has reached the stage of signing the contract, if giving up right now, the losses of being just one step short of success will not be worth the efforts, so it's not reasonable.

"Well, let's make it this afternoon. You send someone to meet with me and then we sign the contract." Actually Manager Zhang also doesn't want the joint project to be postponed any more. He won't let go of such a chance at hand especially after being badly beaten.

"Alright, Manager Zhang, I hope we'll have a good corporation in the future."

In the past, he would absolutely name Si Wan, the director, as the one to negotiate with him. Something must have happened that night, which contributes to the changed attitude of Manager Zhang.

Knitting her brows, Si Wan still can't remember what happened that night even after a hard try.

However, since the contract has been signed, what happened that night is not important any more. Si Wan feels quite relaxed after making such a big deal.

But being relaxed is only temporary. As Yan Xiuya, Si Wan's mother-in-law who is famous for her strictness, has returned to the company, which makes the atmosphere in the company very nervous.

Si Wan is no exception. As the director of the advertising department, there are many details she needs to report to Yan Xiuya. As soon as she gets back, Yan Xiuya calls all the directors together to report the recent situations about process of work.

After getting all the materials prepared, Si Wan hurries to the meeting room.

Appearing in the center of the meeting room is still the familiar face, but with a totally different temperament from the usual one, which looks daunting to everyone.

Objectively speaking, Si Wan truly admires Yan Xiuya who is in charge of the whole Gongshi Group instead of being a rich wife like others who get married into rich families.

More importantly, she makes the Gongshi Group the first place in the business circle that no one can compete with in the short term. Thus, not only Si Wan but many other people in the company admire her a lot.

"Director Si, please stay here after the meeting." After the work summary, Si Wan is named by Yan Xiuya to stay.

Stay here? For company businesses or family affairs? Si Wan is afraid of getting touch with the seniors of the Gong Family. Since there are no improvements between her and Gong Siming, she feels disappointed, so will her families.

Nodding her head, Si Wan feels that only matters of affection bother people the most.

"I have seen your recent achievements. It's good. You have a flexible mind and skillful management." Although nearly all the people have left the meeting room, Yan Xiuya still remains strict.

"Mrs. Yan, thank you for your praise." Nodding her head, Si Wan remains modest, but certainly she feels happy in her heart.

Being neither humble nor pushy, Si Wan is well-balanced in her work. Yan Xiuya has to admit that Si Wan is flawless when it comes to work, just like her in the young ages.

Actually Yan Xiuya doesn't like this daughter-in-law as she didn't appear at a suitable time. But Si Wan proves herself through actions, which has won Yan Xiuya's special attention.

"But remember to shift some of you attention to your personal life. I won't say too much, you know it yourself." Yan Xiuya keeps her hands off the relationship between Si Wan and Gong Siming, but as grandfather of the Gong Family keeps reminding her of this all the time, she has to convey his meaning.

"I know." Life, what kind of personal life does she live now? She would rather only focus on her work which is much simpler.

"It's good that you know it. Now go back to your position. You are competent in your work, just keep working hard." Standing up finally, Yan Xiuya picks up her handbag and leaves for her work.

"Yes, Mrs. Yan." Looking at her receding figure, Si Wan feels relaxed and takes a seat. She starts to immerse herself in her thoughts.

If it were not mentioned, she would have felt nothing strange. But after Yan Xiuya's words, Si Wan realizes that she and Gong Siming haven't met each other since that night, as if Gong Siming tried to avoid her.

Since their marriage which only exists in name only, they have been living independent lives. Only Si Wan still holds care and affection towards Gong Siming, which contributes to her heavy burden on her mind.

She knows she will never have him, but why attach exaggerated hope to him?

No exaggerated hope, Si Wan. As soon as the two-year appointment ends, you can go back to your own life. You can enrich yourself through travelling around the world, which might be a new start after forgetting that person.

No one can forever live in the past, that's right, no one. Consoling herself in the heart, Si Wan does not notice that her fingernails have jabbed into the center of her palm. Does it hurt? She feels nothing as she has been possibly numb for any hurt.