The Last Esper [BL]-Chapter 37: Not quite friends

Rhys sometimes had nightmares.

They were horrible. He found himself in total darkness, where dozens of hands emerged and began to touch him, tearing at his clothes and skin until they penetrated deep into his being, where they tore out his heart and soul, finally draining his life.

When Rhys had nothing left, those hands would move away, he would simply remain still, like an empty vessel.

He felt the hollow where something must be beating.

He had lived that way for years. No matter what he did, the unrest never ceased. He defied Blackwood, had loyal friends, and, although he wasn’t the face of the rebellion, he was active among those fighting to transform society from the shadows.

He had to feel good, right?

Yet the emptiness never went away. Every day it grew worse. Rhys felt like he was falling into a deep abyss. It wasn’t a quick fall, it was slow, drawn out, and agonizing. He had nothing to hold on to, and that hurt. He could only let himself fall until he hit rock bottom. Go as far as his body would take him.

Then, Eun-woo appeared. Someone who could see the abyss, someone who knew the hostility in his eyes and the harshness of his words, and yet, he reached out to him.

Rhys just needed to take his hand.

For the first time, he was afraid of dying. He didn’t want to. Not at that moment. Not when he still had a long way to go to reciprocate Eun-woo’s genuine feelings.

For the first time, he longed to live.

The void was filled, but his life was gone.

He wanted to stay.

He wanted to hold Eun-woo’s hand and see life as he saw it. But Rhys knew he was going to die. He knew because he couldn’t sense anything anymore. No cold, no heat, no smells, not even pain. Instead, his senses had shut down completely. He couldn’t feel his limbs, he couldn’t feel his body.

I’m going to die.

And suddenly, a wave of heat. It wasn’t a fever. It was something further. An energy welled up from the center of his chest and coursed through his body like a current. Rhys’s muscles tensed, his skin tingling with an electric tingle that came and went, awakening every dormant nerve ending. It was then that he became aware of his breathing.

He also felt the sharp stinging pains in his arm, the throbbing burn of the wound, and the persistent dizziness that returned every time he tried to open his eyes. But it wasn’t the same emptiness anymore. There was something else. Something or someone was holding him from within.

Eunwoo.

Rhys just wanted to wake up and see him, tell him he was okay, that he’d still be there. With him. Because he liked being by his side.

Rhys had also planned to tell him the truth: that he’d once tried to kill him. Maybe he’d even tell him about his past, about the family he’d lost... Maybe he’d even dare mention Blackwood.

He just knew he wanted to talk to Eun-woo. To be honest with him and make things right.

A little better, at least.

It took Rhys an eternity before he could open his eyes, the room was dark and the pungent smell of wet earth filled the air.

He tried to sit up, but Rong Ye was beside him, wrapping his arm in bandages and gauze. Seeing this, Rhys let out a groan and sank back onto the mattress.

He wanted the person by his side to be Eun-woo.

"You just woke up, you shouldn’t move," Rong Ye said without looking at him.

"I didn’t complain about it," Rhys replied. "I saw you and for a moment I thought I was in fucking hell."

Rong Ye pinched his arm, and Rhys groaned again, his voice barely audible. Then, silence fell. Rhys could hear only his own labored breathing and the distant echo of his heartbeat. He just wished Rong Ye would just leave.

"Rhys..." Rong Ye began, once the bandages and gauze were gone. He opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come out immediately. He looked down, as if searching for the courage to continue. "I..."

"Please don’t thank me." Rhys covered his face with his hand. "I’m capable of calling the wolves back to tear you apart."

Rong Ye didn’t respond immediately. He remained silent, staring at him. His expression was difficult to read, caught between wounded pride and something else he didn’t dare show. After a few seconds, he lowered his shoulders slightly and let out a barely audible sigh.

"Sorry... I guess."

"You’re exhausting."

Rhys wasn’t upset about the injury. Not even the excruciating pain that had left him on the brink of death. What truly infuriated him was knowing none of it had been an accident.

He had seen the way Rong Ye moved, the way he made a deliberate misstep. It wasn’t clumsiness or desperation. Rong Ye pulled the wolf toward him, hoping it would tear him apart. Kill him.

And Rhys, idiot that he was, had stopped him. He’d stood between him and a death he was apparently willing to accept without a fight. That was what he couldn’t forgive him for. Not now, not later.

Rong Ye did that shit a lot: getting into trouble and waiting for others to end his life. Caelan and Jae were always on the lookout for Rong Ye. It was almost an unspoken routine between them: watching Rong Ye from afar and intervening when he got too close to the edge.

And Rhys... he just watched silently, not paying much attention to Rong Ye.

Ignoring was the best course of action. Fewer problems, more chances of counteracting the pain.

Sometimes he wanted to scream to Rong Ye that he wasn’t alone, that he had them and could ask for help whenever he needed it, but Rhys never told him.

Deep down, though, he also cared for Rong Ye, and that’s why he looked out for him, at least secretly. He felt the need to look after him because they were part of the mess Blackwood had dragged them into, both of them knowing pain and handling it in their own ways.

His mother had said that people were bad, but not always.

Rhys wanted that: to be bad, but not always.

Maybe saving Rong Ye from the wolf attack was his good deed of the day. Maybe.

"Why did you save me?" Rong Ye asked.

Rhys shrugged dismissively.

"If the wolf had ripped you to pieces in front of us, Eun-woo would have had a panic attack."

"Eun-woo almost died seeing you hurt," Rong Ye snapped in annoyance.

Rhys looked at him sideways, a grimace between annoyance and resignation.

"Then we’re even because you almost got him killed by seeing you torn to pieces."

"I didn’t ask you to interfere."

"I wasn’t going to stand idly by while a wolf tore you apart in front of us. I’ve got enough ghosts."

"I’m not your responsibility," Rong Ye looked away.

"No. But you’re important to Jae and Caelan. And, unfortunately for you, that means you’re important to me now, too."

Rong Ye clicked his tongue in annoyance, but his expression softened slightly, as if those words had scratched a part he was trying to bury.

"Idiot," he said in a low voice.

"Yes, but I’m the idiot who won’t let you die that easily."

Rhys didn’t get people. It was like most people they were so distant, so impersonal. Surprisingly, he didn’t consider Rong Ye part of that group. On the contrary, Rong Ye was very similar to Rhys, even though neither of them wanted to admit it.

Eun-woo was a unique case. Sometimes he didn’t understand Eun-woo, but he managed to feel him. It was hard to explain; there was a kind of strength between them.

It wasn’t a bond. No. It was something else. So different and amazing.

He needed to see Eun-woo. Only then would he be completely sure his heart was still beating.

Rong Ye looked at Rhys, his lips pursed, as if he were about to sneer again, but he didn’t. Instead, he shifted his gaze to the bandage on Rhys’s arm and frowned.

"You’re not exactly making things easy for me either," he said.

"I didn’t come to make your life easy," Rhys countered. "I came to make sure you didn’t screw it up completely."

"How noble of you. Are you going to take responsibility for my choices now, too?"

"No. Only with those who try to bury you alive in front of those who need you."

There was a brief silence. Rong Ye lowered his gaze. He feigned annoyance, but the almost imperceptible tremor in his fingers betrayed him.

"Nobody needs me, Rhys."

"That’s what you think. Jae thinks otherwise. Caelan does too, even though he shouts it at you instead of telling you. And Eun-woo..." Rhys paused. "He froze when he thought you were going to die."

Rong Ye swallowed. He said nothing.

"Don’t do anything like that again." Rhys watched him, his eyes narrowed with exhaustion.

For a moment, almost imperceptible, Rong Ye’s lips curved upward. It wasn’t a smile, but it was close to one.

"You’re still an idiot," he said.

Rhys didn’t notice it right away, but Caelan was standing in the doorway. The surprise on his face was evident, as if he couldn’t believe Rhys and Rong Ye were actually talking without shouting.

Rong Ye noticed it too. He turned toward the door, and seeing Caelan, he pursed his lips in annoyance.

"I’ll come back later to check on you," he said quietly, addressing Rhys without looking at him much. His tone wasn’t cold, but it was sharp. As he finished, he stood up.

Rhys barely managed to turn his head when he saw Caelan move, stepping to the side to let Rong Ye pass. But at the last second, he stopped him.

"We need to talk," he said.

Rong Ye turned around with a sharp movement.

"Don’t touch me!" he exclaimed. He jerked free and practically ran, pushing Caelan aside as he passed.

Rhys followed them with his gaze. He saw Caelan freeze as if he didn’t know what to do next. Then their eyes met.

Caelan looked at him with a mixture of discomfort and something resembling guilt. Rhys didn’t quite understand what he was seeing, but before he could say anything, his friend spoke.

"I’m sorry," he said simply, without explanation.

And he followed Rong Ye.

Rhys stood alone, staring at the half-open door.

Why had Caelan apologized to him?

He didn’t understand it, but something told him that conversation wasn’t over.

The sourc𝗲 of this content is fre(e)novelkiss