Unintended Immortality-Chapter 309: Lady Calico Doesn’t Eat Sparrows

“Well, you…” Lady Calico craned her neck, staring at the spices laid out on the table. She glanced at them again and again. “You’ve bought all these fruits, grains, wheat, tree bark, and leaves again—is it for making that powder?”

“Some of it is for powder-making.”

“Some of it...”

“And some of it…”

“And some of it!”

The Daoist smiled in reminiscence and said to her, “With the New Year approaching, it’s proper to prepare a pot of braised meat.”

“Braised meat!”

“It’s customary to eat braised meat during the New Year.”

“Have I eaten braised meat before?”

“How would I know?”

“Why don’t you know?”

“I'm not smart.”

“You’re not…” Lady Calico was halfway through her sentence before pausing in surprise.

Then, she tilted her head back and stared at him blankly.

Then she heard the Daoist say, “Whether you’ve eaten it before or not, surely you should know best.”

“I don't know either.”

“And why is that?”

“Because…” Lady Calico paused mid-sentence, suddenly at a loss. She continued to tilt her head up, staring blankly at him.

“Swish!”

Lady Calico quickly shook her head, swaying it in a circular motion until her facial features distorted. Then, as if shaking off her earlier thoughts, she sat upright. She began licking her paw, pretending as though nothing had happened. She calmly responded to the Daoist, “I remember that I haven’t eaten it before.”

“I suppose you haven’t.”

“You suppose!”

“But in a few days, you will have.”

“In a few days!”

“What a pity…” Song You’s thoughts drifted once again to that short-lived old Daoist.

In this era, there were already rudimentary forms of braised dishes. It was likely that over a thousand years ago, the people of Yizhou had begun using salt and sichuan pepper to create brines. Later, the people of Yizhou, known for their love of intense flavors and spicy food, added their own seasoning method in braising.

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However, up until now, the extensive use of spices to create fully refined braised dishes hadn’t been realized. Back when Song You was at the temple, he had tried making it himself and even received high praise from his master.

Yet, for one, he was still experimenting with techniques at the time; two, the spices he could procure were incomplete; and three, he lacked one crucial spicy seasoning. Ultimately, it always felt like something was missing.

While reflecting on this, he reached into the saddle bag and retrieved a small ceramic jar before opening it. Originally intended to store tea and ensure it remained dry and aromatic, the jar now contained dried chili peppers.

Carefully, Song You extracted a single chili pepper, sliced it open, and removed one seed.

As he turned to grab the flowerpot, he noticed that Lady Calico had already transformed into a little girl. As if sensing his intention, she held up a soil-filled flowerpot with both hands, lifting it high to offer it to him.

Song You couldn’t help but smile as he accepted it. “Thank you, Lady Calico.”

“Thank you, Lady Calico.”

Song You took the flowerpot and placed it by the window. Using his finger, he gently dug a shallow hole, carefully dropped the chili seed into it, and covered it with soil.

When he turned around, the little girl had already brought over a watering can, lifting it high to hand it to him with the same serious expression, staring at him intently.

“Thank you, Lady Calico.”

“You’re welcome.”

Only then did the little girl return to her seat.

Song You thoroughly watered the soil in the flowerpot, then returned inside. He put the watering can aside, and went about his nightly routine of washing up and preparing for bed.

As it had been two years ago in Changjing, this night was another bitterly cold one, with the northern wind howling outside. The chili seed germinated quickly, breaking through the soil and sprouting overnight. By midnight, the plant had grown tall and bloomed, its flowers swaying in the night breeze.

By dawn the next day, when the sky began to lighten, the plant had already borne fruit—not yellow peppers, but clusters of small red chilies that resembled tiny lanterns.

Song You slept soundly through the night. As he groggily opened his eyes in the morning, he heard the voices of two little demons conversing by the window, “They seem ripe already!”

“They are ripe…”

“Why do you always stay on the tree?”

“Birds… Birds belong on trees, don’t they?”

“Why do you always keep so far away from me?”

“I’m scared of cats.”

“I don't eat demons! The Daoist said eating demons is like eating humans—it’s wrong!” Lady Calico’s voice paused for a moment. “And besides, we’re on the same team. Since meeting you, I haven’t eaten any swallows anymore. I barely even eat birds now! I rarely even climb trees to steal eggs!”

“You…”

“Why are you still scared?”

“You…”

“You're such a coward!”

“Y-You used to eat swallows!!”

“Cats are supposed to eat birds, except for clumsy cats that can’t catch them. I’m very skilled.” Lady Calico’s voice was delicate and pleasant. “Before I knew you, if I caught one, I’d definitely eat it. Oh, except for the swallows that nest above the doors of my shrine.”

“So, you’re like humans? You don’t harm your own swallows?”

“Not really,” Lady Calico admitted honestly. “I save them for when there’s nothing else to eat.”

“...”

Although Song You was still lying in bed, unable to see the scene by the window from his angle—let alone the little swallow on the tree outside—he could easily imagine the frightened expression on the swallow's face.

It must have been hunched over, trembling.

“Ahem…” The Daoist cleared his throat and got out of bed.

The conversation by the window immediately ceased.

As Song You finished putting on his shoes and stepped into the cat’s view, he saw Lady Calico standing on the windowsill guarding the pot of chili peppers. She then turned her head to stare straight at him.

Only when their eyes met did she seem to receive some kind of cue. She said to him, “Daoist priest, your chili peppers are ripe!”

“Got it.” The Daoist glanced briefly at them, pressed his lips together, and said nothing. He simply walked over to inspect the plant.

Indeed, the chili peppers had ripened fully. And they’d grown quite well. They were red peppers.

Over the past two years, the Daoist had come to fully understand the chili seeds brought back by Swallow Immortal.

There were several types.

One was the length of one’s finger to the end of one’s palm, aromatic when dried but not spicy, suitable for cooking. Another was slender, pointed, and slightly curved, about the length of a pinky finger. It was spicy with a fragrant aroma. A third resembled little red lanterns, moderately spicy with a rich aroma.

The fourth was the size of a fingernail, like small, round beads—extremely spicy but lacking fragrance. The fifth resembled tiny yellow-jade lanterns. Though visually appealing, no suitable culinary use had yet been discovered.

Song You favored the first and second types for regular use. For making braised dishes, it was best to mix several varieties.

Planting just one seed overnight was enough. If time was insufficient, he could use a spell to speed up the drying process, though it was a last resort.

“Thank you, Lady Calico, and thank you, Yan An.”

The Daoist knew they had kept watch over the plant all night, watering it when the soil dried out, and he expressed his gratitude. Both little demons beamed with joy.

He reached out and scratched Lady Calico’s head, making her squint her eyes in pleasure. Only then did he fetch a plate, carefully picking the ripe chili peppers from the plant and placing them onto the plate. Leaning out the window, he surveyed the area and found a sunny spot where the peppers could dry all day.

This little task didn’t take much time at all.

Once finished, he went to wash up. By the time he returned, Lady Calico had transformed into her human form and bought steamed buns for breakfast from across the street.

It had been a struggle for her. She knew there were cheaper steamed cakes[1] available, but the steamed buns had meat in them. She wanted to save money yet also wanted to give the Daoist some meat to eat. It was such a dilemma. Why couldn’t meat-filled steamed buns be cheaper than plain steamed cakes?

The afternoon gradually rolled in.

The temperature remained cold, but the weather was pleasant. The sky was a spotless blue, and the sun shone so brightly it was hard to keep one’s eyes open.

From the tea house next door came the sound of lively chatter.

Song You checked on the drying chili peppers and found their progress satisfactory. He decided not to hasten the process and instead called for Lady Calico to join him in visiting the tea house once more.

This leisurely life was indeed enjoyable.

The morning had been much the same—

The Daoist spent the entire morning leisurely, not cultivating, not reflecting, and practically doing nothing productive. He simply took a small stool, sat outside the inn, and basked in the winter sun. He cuddled the cat while petting her, and watched the movement of pedestrians along the bustling streets of the small town preparing for the New Year.

His mind wandered freely, letting time slip by. It was easy to imagine that the coming days would follow a similar pattern.

The past two years had been overwhelmingly busy—exorcizing demons and traveling endlessly, with little time for rest. The reason for pausing his journey in this small town was, naturally, to take a break.

Cultivation involved training the heart and mind; rest was also a form of cultivation.

The Daoist decided he would frequent the tea house and contribute to the storyteller’s business. Yet, he wasn’t the only one seeking leisure.

With the influx of people for the New Year celebrations, the tea house was busiest in the afternoons. Perhaps the storyteller’s previous tales had helped attract the crowd. By the time the storyteller arrived, the tea house was already more than half full, with a bustling throng gathered outside.

Song You quickly spotted the young boy named Xu Qiu’an, blending into the crowd.

The Daoist paused and smiled warmly at him.

“…”

The boy immediately felt a wave of awkwardness.

Just last night, he had claimed that even in such a small town, running into each other again wouldn’t be easy. Moreover, he had a cold and aloof expression as he spoke, with a tone full of exaggerated bravado, as if trying his hardest to project the image of a carefree wanderer of the jianghu.

And yet, here they were, meeting again the very next afternoon. It was undeniably embarrassing.

The Daoist, however, seemed unbothered and greeted him with a calm smile, “Young lad, we meet again.”

The boy also tried his best to appear calm and composed as he cupped his hands in a polite gesture toward him. “We meet again, sir.”

“It seems fate has brought us together.”

“Fate indeed…”

“Yesterday, I said that if we were to meet again, I would thank you for your kindness,” Song You said with a smile, turning his gaze to the bustling tea house. “Though I have little to offer in thanks, since we’ve run into each other here at the tea house, and since you seem to enjoy stories as much as I do, it would be wasteful for me to drink an entire pot of tea alone. That would be improper.

“Please, join me inside. Let us share a pot of tea.”

The young boy hesitated for a moment, then cupped his hands respectfully and replied, “Then, thank you, sir!”

The two entered the tea house together and found a table to sit at. Song You ordered a simple pot of tea, as usual.

There was little time for pleasantries, as the storyteller on stage had already taken a sip of tea, spat out some saliva, and begun his tale.

The Daoist calmly poured tea into the cups as he listened.

The boy, however, sat upright, his back straight and his neck extended as he focused intently on the storyteller. His eyes sparkled with interest, and he deliberately avoided looking at the Daoist as he poured tea.

Finally, when Song You placed a cup of tea in front of him, Song You said, “Here.”

“Oh!” The boy acted as though he had only just noticed. “T-Thank you.”

“In the previous time, we mentioned that the last remnants of the northern frontier forces retreated deep into the grasslands, leading to a great victory in the north. This marked another monumental triumph for our Great Yan empire against the northern frontier court, following the decisive victory over a decade ago—a victory of unprecedented scale in the history of centuries and millennia of dynasties!

“However, General Chen, instead of retreating his forces, set up camp 800 li beyond the border. Rather than returning his troops, he sent messengers back to the imperial court to report the news and requested permission to continue advancing into the northern frontier to resolve the threat once and for all!”

With a loud smack, the storyteller slapped the table. This was the story he told last night.

Song You couldn’t really say whether he had been listening or not. But he certainly didn’t go downstairs again to listen to the storytelling.

However, the teahouse was right next to the inn, and storytellers these days were truly skilled, with voices so loud and clear. In the stillness of the small town at night, Song You could hear it even from his room. He hadn’t intended to listen to someone boasting about him, but the noise was so disruptive that he ended up lying awake in bed until the storyteller wrapped up for the night before he could fall asleep.

1. Steamed cakes are a type of pastry. The main ingredient is flour, with additional ingredients including fruit pulp and vegetables, and seasonings such as salt, cooking oil, and white sugar. They are prepared by steaming in a bamboo or metal steamer. ☜