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... zryth hiring an etiquette consultant, a stylist, and what I can only describe as a professional social interaction coach.

The etiquette consultant was a severe woman named Margaret who spent three hours on Monday teaching me which fork to use for what course and how to properly hold a champagne flute.

"No, no, no," she said for the fifteenth time. "You hold it by the stem, not the bowl, you’ll warm the champagne."

"Maybe I like warm champagne."

"No one likes warm ...

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