I Own a Funeral Home: Live Stream Following Other Streamers and Shock the Entire Internet! - Chapter 5

Bro!

You wouldn’t believe this!

Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday.

Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang.

Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?!

I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right?

RIGHT?!

I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be!

From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?!

A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something!

Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle.

Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS!

GAAAAH!

Jeez this is happening too fast!

However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while!

A new path of power!

I can NOT be an undead!

I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead!

Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them!

I’m no longer on the path for Undeath!

Only Lifelessness awaits me!

I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale!

I am... SKULLIUS!

And I’m not an UNDEAD!

.......

[Sneek Peek]

“What kind of skills are these? What can I do with them? They better not be worthless VOW Bro!”

[Please refrain from calling me- you know what, whatever! Scroll down to access the actual descriptions about the skills].

Um ok.

Click.

~~~

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Flesh It Like You Mean It | Lv. 1 ]

Tired of looking dead? Are your eyes hollow? Do you need to smile and show off something other than bones? Call on the power of cosmetic flesh and get a body that's to your liking (not really).

----

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Lifeless Evolution ]

Tired of the same old undead evolutions? Is being undead not trendy anymore? Is your Lich a sockethole who doesn’t admire your efforts? Well then, try the Lifeless Evolution Package. For strong, unorthodox and peculiar evolutions that will knock your skull off.

-IfyouareseeingthisinyourGuidancefielditmeansthatthisskillisboundtoyouandisnon-refundable-

~~~

I’m going to regret this right?

......

He lived from BC to the Middle Ages, from the Renaissance to the Industrial Revolution, and from Cyberpunk to the Interstellar Age. He has been a king and a prophet, a knight and a nobleman, a versatile artist, a genius inventor…
This is a four-thousand-year human epic——
“To us four thousand years from now:
“Is the world at peace? Is famine extinct? Can people touch the stars? How long is the human lifespan? How far is the boundary of the earth? Human…do you remember us?”
——Excavated from Earth Age Tenth Century BC, Solomon Prayer Book.

- Description from novelbuddy

Six years ago, the legitimate daughter of the Chu Family was schemed against by her half-sister and was forced to marry the Princely Heir, who was blind and not long for this world.Fortunately, her medical skills were excellent, and she detoxified the Princely Heir.Who would have thought after he came back to life, the emperor would actually want to bestow a concubine upon him—and this jerk didn't even refuse.Furious, she left a divorce letter and then set the Prince Residence on fire, fleeing in haste.Six years later, the same Princely Heir remained a lonely man, with all his old servants worrying their hearts out.One day, upon encountering a Little Baozi on the street who looked strikingly like the Princely Heir, they instantly burst into tears.“The Prince Residence has a successor! Princely Heir, please come back with us to the Prince Residence quickly.”Who knew, Little Baozi disdainfully said, “Not interested.”“Princely Heir, the Prince Residence is immensely wealthy...”“My mother is the wealthiest person!”“Princely Heir, the Prince Residence is extremely safe...”“My mother is the Martial Arts Alliance Hierarch!”“Princely Heir, the Prince Residence has powerful armies...”“My mother is the heir to the Nanduan Kingdom!”Suddenly, a faint voice came from behind: “Then, does your mother need an Imperial Consort? I think myself quite suitable.”

Rael screwed up badly. One reckless gamble later, and his guild's entire emergency fund was gone. With debt collectors ready to harvest his organs, his only hope was a single, desperate gacha pull.Ding![Congratulations! Player: Quarterpounder69 has obtained the (Divine) Grade item, Eye of the Beast!][Divine Grade item obtained! All Stats +250][First Divine Grade item obtained! All Stats +100][New title unlocked! [Heavenly Attraction] (Divine)]With no other choice, he consumed the item—only to be thrown into a situation no player had ever faced before.[To ensure fairness, please select a random number. This will determine which boss monster variation you become.]'Uh, I don't fucking know? 69... hmm, maybe not...'[Confirmed.]'Wait—'[Congratulations! You've chosen the Special-Type Boss Monster Variation: The Pay-to-Win Boss.][Congratulations! You've become a Boss Monster!]Armed with broken perks like [Premium Leveling], [Premium Evolution], and [Premium Shop], Rael was thrust into the world of the VRMMORPG game he had been playing.The issue was, he went back in time, specifically, 150 days before the launch of version 1.0.