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... comes at him behind the walls of Konoha he knew it would be either one of two people, and there were very particular ways to pinpoint exactly who it was. Did the kunai cut his cheek? No. Was there a shapely female form hanging off of his back with her arms wrapped around him? Again no. Did the kunai miss him by a mile in the effort to divert his attention? Yes. Did the damn thing have a pinwheel on it for some reason? Yes. And if he listened closely he could hear the creaking of a spandex jumpsu ...

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